


Mind the Gap

by iamanidhwal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akiteru is a Good Bro, Angst, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Boys In Love, Chases, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Cute Yamaguchi Tadashi, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Graduation, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, Jealous Tsukishima Kei, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Nishinoya Yuu/Azumane Asahi, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Moving, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Pro Volleyball Player Tsukishima Kei, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou, Protective yamaguchi, Rivalry, Second Chances, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Teen Angst, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, Third Year Yamaguchi Tadashi, Trains, Travel, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love, protective Akiteru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22086037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamanidhwal/pseuds/iamanidhwal
Summary: 354.39 kilometers.220.20 miles.That's the distance between Sendai and Tokyo. It takes roughly an hour and a half, two hours at most for the Tohoku Shinkansen to get from one place to another.Tsukishima Kei and Kuroo Tetsurou have taken the same train back and forth countless times in the years they've been together. But when thinking about the ones with most impact, four specific trips come to mind.--Here's beautifulartof this fic, made by the one and onlyPhix!!!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou & Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 78
Kudos: 470
Collections: My beloved stories





	1. The Shinkansen has left the station.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: There is now a twtfic (finished, 01/31) that prequels Mind the Gap.
> 
> Here's the link: https://twitter.com/imanidhstwt/status/1218179344113094656?s=19
> 
> Like and follow my account ( @imanidhstwt ) for updates and general headassery in English and Filipino bc I'm makalat to the core 😳
> 
> \---
> 
> I am a KurooTsukki sucker, fuck me right???
> 
> Something self-indulgent because I just want them together so bad 😭😭😭😭😭
> 
> Anyway I know I'm like super good (read: sarcasm) at internal monologues. That's why I write overthinking idiots the best. 
> 
> Here you go, a four-parter. Have at it!  
> Make sure to check the chapter end notes for bonus content!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 》From: Guchi-Gang  
> 》To: It'sO-Kei  
> 》 Subject: ?!?!?!?!?!?  
> 》 Message: Tsukki? Where are you??? You suddenly took off. I was going to your house to borrow a DVD of One Piece from you, remember?  
> \---  
> 》From: It'sO-Kei  
> 》To: Guchi-Gang  
> 》 Subject: Re: ?!?!?!?!?!?  
> 》 Message: I'm in a shinkansen to Tokyo.
> 
> It takes only five seconds for Yamaguchi's caller ID to pop up on his screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USERNAME REFERENCES:
> 
> *Guchi-Gang 》》》 "Gucci Gang"  
> * It'sO-Kei 》》》 "It's OK"  
> * Tsukkisaur 》》》 Kuroo set his nickname on the line chat after he finds out Tsukishima likes dinosaurs. He keeps it because Kuroo thinks it's cute.  
> * KurooCat 》》》 "Kuro" meaning Black, Cat because for obvious Nekoma reasons.

* * *

_《 The Tohoku Shinkansen bound for Tokyo, has left Sendai Station. Please take your assigned seats --》_

Tsukishima Kei deliberately drowns out the automated spiel on the intercom and tries to relax. He's lucky he's got the window seat. He's been to Tokyo several times, on family trips during the holidays, and he's used to tuning out the world, his parents and his brother, with his large headphones that screams "Do not Disturb" whenever they're on his head. 

Tsukishima barely feels the pull of the train as it speeds up, the rush of the buildings on the outskirts of Sendai giving way to blurs of green, warping as they pick up the pace. It's sunny today; the sky was clear blue, not a cloud in sight, and the sun was a welcomed warmth after a particularly cold winter. Tsukishima looks out, feels tranquil at the prospects of a mild spring and the end of stuffy, scratchy sweaters and a tail-end winter bug that's been making him sniffle for days on end.

But no matter how calm and cool he looks right now, his insides are definitely churning. Because prim and proper Tsukishima, who always has it together, has just done the most impulsive thing in his life. 

(So far.)

* * *

Due to a family non-emergency that included the old Grand-Coach Ukai kicking up a fuss, their very own, wild-but-not-that-wild coach dismissed practice for the day. And because it was a Friday, with a long holiday ahead, everyone was understandably excited to have another day off. Many of them celebrated with the promise of rest and relaxation. Two of them were stupid enough to pledge to practice even during their off-days.

Tsukishima is a person who no one really pegs as either a lazy bum or a workaholic. He falls strictly in the middle, if he's to be asked. He likes having days to relax, but he also likes being productive to some degree. Volleyball practice has been eating up much of his free time lately, but he's slowly grown to love the sport. His team? Mmm, not as much, but it's getting there.

So when somebody asks him what his plans are for the long weekend, he stares off into nothing, taking way too long to answer.

"Your phone's beeping, hurry up and answer it," Kageyama says, face scrunched up in a pout as he puts back his uniform in his bag. "Your ringtone is annoying."

"I'd gladly assault your ears again, your majesty," Tsukishima drawls, and he shows Kageyama a shit-eating grin when the setter glowers at him. He deftly checks his messages, straight-up denies that he's smiling like a lunatic even when Yamaguchi says that he definitely was.

"Who's that?" Hinata asks, like a full-grown toddler that has no sense of privacy or personal space. He leans all up into Tsukishima's face, making the other pull back just enough for him to see the contact name. "Kuroo? You mean Kuroo from Nekoma?"

The other teammates still lingering around in the locker room take pause, and stare at Tsukishima.

Yamaguchi laughs as the blonde bristles, obviously pissed at being put under the spotlight. "Tsukki really hit it off with Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san after the training camp we had in Tokyo. They've kept in touch."

"Amazing!" Hinata squeaks in excitement. Tsukishima could even see Kageyama at the back with a murderous scowl, obviously jealous. "That's awesome! But why're you smiling so much?"

"I totally thought you were texting a girl. Unless... that's the one you've been...?" Nishinoya teases with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Suga and Tsukishima seem to be the only ones to catch onto his drift, and the former makes sure to hit the libero with a paper fan he pulled seemingly out of nowhere before pulling him aside by the ear for a lecture.

"What do you even talk about?" Kageyama scoffs, but his eyes betrayed his curiosity. "How to block properly?"

Tsukishima smirks, but pockets his phone all the same. He hasn't even read the text, and his answer will have to wait. "Normal people don't talk about volleyball all the time, doi."

"You little-"

"I'm going first, byeee~" He makes sure to wiggle his fingers at the team before he leaves, with Yamaguchi following him out.

"I just realized now what Nishinoya-san meant," Yamaguchi says after fifteen minutes of them walking in comfortable silence. "Oh my god, do you think --"

"He and Asahi-san are hooking up here and there," Tsukishima deadpans. "His gaydar is probably spot-on."

"Hang on? 'Gaydar'? Wait, he and Asahi-san?! I thought they were only flirting? Hooking up?!?!?!"

He sniggers and shakes his head as the fact makes Yamaguchi's head implode. His best friend in the whole world looks so simple-minded, yet holds two devastating truths behind lips so sealed that they could be very well have been superglued shut.

Number one: That Tsukishima Kei is gay. 

He's in the closet right now and has no real intention on coming out to anyone soon. Apart from Yamaguchi, that is, who's supported him from day 1, no matter what. Sure, his coming out wouldn't be of much issue at all, seeing as how the captain and vice-captain are all but married both inside and outside the court, but Tsukishima likes to keep things private. 

He's in the closet, and he's made himself comfortable for now. For those who wants to be out and about, good for them, no harm done, no judgment dealt. But to say he's suffering in silence wouldn't exactly be true.

Well, almost.

"You could ask them about how to properly ask Kuroo-san out!" Yamaguchi exclaims when he finally words out what's been bugging him. Luckily there were no other people around him, but Tsukishima still has the urge to flee.

Number two: He's nursing a ridiculous crush on the ex-captain of Nekoma High men's volleyball team, Kuroo Tetsurou.

"I would rather slice my stomach open than ask them," Tsukishima says a little too forcefully, but the effect is dampened with how pink his ears have gotten. He hides behind his glasses and tries putting his headphones on to keep his cool. "Scratch that, I'd rather throw myself in the ocean with my body tied to a boulder before I ask Kuroo out."

"Tsukki, that's... way too graphic for me," Yamaguchi whines, going a little green when they pass a poster with a picture of curry katsu on it. "But come on, you've been agonizing about Kuroo-san's texts for _weeks_!"

That's true. Kuroo and Tsukishima has been texting more frequently the past couple of weeks. He's exchanged numbers with Bokuto and Akaashi and Kuroo when the Excitable Horned Owl Guy (or EHOG, as Tsukishima shortens it in text, and Kuroo pisses himself with laughter because it's way, _way_ too close to 'ahegao') practically hoots down his neck and digs his talons on his shoulders, refusing to let him escape Gym 3 without his digits, or at the very least, his LINE address. 

Tsukishima might be grossly exaggerating, but that's what he felt at the time.

But with Bokuto and Akaashi seemingly more busy with studies and plans for the future, it leaves Tsukishima with only Kuroo to text with. He doesn't really mind; Bokuto has the same, weirdly limitless energy reserves that Hinata does, and just hearing his signature "Hey, hey, hey!" Was draining in and of itself. Akaashi's more his type, as they get along quite well, but those comfortable silences and quick, snarky back-and-forths don't really translate well into text, especially when the other one is busy.

Kuroo is easy-going and fun. He riles Tsukishima up effortlessly, and he does so every chance he gets. But he's also cool and smart, and damnedly handsome. He's loyal to friends, knows his boundaries, probably is great in bed, and damn, is that Tsukki mentally letting slip his teenage boy fantasies?

Screw 'crush', this is 'attraction' on a whole new level. Everytime Kuroo sends a message anytime throughout the day, he has to try and school his face into his usual bored expression, but that doesn't really work when he's scrambling to see what Kuroo's written the second he hears his ringtone go off.

"Shit," Tsukishima swears as he takes his phone out of his pocket. He's forgotten to reply. 

Currently Kuroo and Tsukishima are in a weird in-between, if he can even call it that. Tsukishima calls it weird because it's vague and uncertain, mostly on his part. At Kuroo's behest, they've started a game of "20 Questions", where they ask each other 20 questions each to try and get to know each other better. Kuroo claims he's read that some people in other countries use this method to introduce themselves when looking to date online.

Tsukishima's asked, rather coyly, in a fit of rare bravado and cattiness, if he's planning to seduce him with it. 

Kuroo hits him with a "We'll see ;)", and Tsukishima's heart races for all of five minutes before Kuroo immediately ruins it by saying that Tsukishima's used up one of his 20 questions.

It's been an increasingly flirty game from there. Tsukishima doesn't know how, but such simple questions lead effortlessly into dangerous territory. Online, he's much more brave; he gets to think before he replies, gets to edit his answers and mentally go over it a thousand times before he hits 'enter'. So he's upped his flirting game and is cattier online than in person, because his thoughts and anxiety act up way before the words leave his mouth. 

But Kuroo has always been playful. He's probably only flirting back because he's trying to see how far Tsukishima can take a joke, and Tsukishima is a sore, sore loser. So he hangs on, and he teases back, and it's much later on in the week when he's suddenly hit with a realization, coupled with a hollowness in his chest, that perhaps Kuroo really was just trying to push his buttons. So he's guarded his feelings for the time being, building mental and emotional walls around his heart, until he can think straight.

Thinking straight decidedly does not work, and the thought of finding an out gay man willing to listen to the plight of an awkward teenager in the closet about a stupid high school crush was enough for Tsukishima to bury himself in the sand and disappear from civilization.

But Yamaguchi insists, in that hopelessly, endlessly optimistic mentality of his, because he thinks he might have a chance. Or maybe it's for Tsukishima's sake, because he sees him happy and entertained and smiling a whole lot since the start of his and Kuroo's exchange. "What'd he say?" He asks, leaning over to see the text.

Tsukishima lets him read the LINE message, making sure there are no playful and risqué messages he can backread to.

》 **KurooCat** : Alright, Tsukki, here's my last question:  
》 **KurooCat** : Question 20! What's the most impulsive thing you've ever done in your entire life?

Tsukishima blinks. "That's... pretty tame."

"What do you mean?" Yamaguchi asks instantly, and Tsukishima instantly regrets voicing that specific thought out loud, so he ignores the follow-up question altogether. 

_Impulsive_. Tsukishima can be described in many ways, but _impulsive_ was not one of them. He likes to plan, he likes order and control. Perhaps it's because of a fairly strict and traditional upbringing, or because he's been trained with a coach since he was young, but he prefers routine out of whimsies. He likes calculations over instinct. He lets his mind rule his heart, and he's okay with it so far in his life.

But right now, faced with an open question from his crush, he's determined to sell himself as an interesting person, at the very least. That proves to be very difficult when the only impulsive act he's done that comes to mind was throwing caution to the wind and seeing a movie with bad critic reviews on the midnight release just to see for himself what all the negative hype was about.

Tsukishima stops walking, and Yamaguchi is concerned at how blank and dejected he looks. "I'm doomed."

"Tsukki, wait!" He squeaks, and thinks. "W-What about something volleyball related?"

"I think a lot about the game, that's not impulsive."

"Er, studies?"

"I have a life plan; I'm gonna apply for a university in Tokyo after I graduate high school, and maybe play volleyball semi-pro on the side."

"Eh? Wait, what? Tokyo? Pro league? Hang on, when did you decide this?" 

"Yamaguchi." And that does it, that stops Yamaguchi in his train of thought, because Tsukishima has a whine in his voice that he never really lets out unless he's alone to dwell in his despair. "I'm done. Maybe I should... should just stop talking to him."

Kill this love, like how one of those popular K-pop songs go. Nip all of it in the bud. Have them go back to total strangers again. This mountain of pining has gone on long enough, anyway.

"No!" Came the indignant reply of his best friend, and Tsukishima is momentarily taken aback with the sudden outburst, because Yamaguchi never raises his voice unless seriously agitated, or in a game. "That's not the solution here!"

"I-I can't think straight, I can't think of anything--"

"Focus, man, focu--" and Yamaguchi stops mid-sentence, like he's just had a god-like epiphany. Or a massive stroke. Either way, Tsukishima is rightly, overtly concerned.

"Yamagu-"

"Kuroo."

"...eh?"

"Kuroo," Yamaguchi blinks up at him, as though it's supposed to make sense. "You're impulsive when it comes to Kuroo."

One sentence. That's all it took. He can't really explain it, but suddenly all of the cogs in his mind seemed to click into place. His mind is suddenly blank, calm and serene.

He knows what to do. And right now, he's calm enough to stop kicking himself mentally and just go with the flow.

"I need to go," is all Tsukishima says before he sprints to the bus stop that takes him to Sendai Station. He's breathing hard as he runs through the platforms and catch the soonest shinkansen bound for Tokyo. He might or might not have jumped into the train while the doors were closing, and he might or might not have scared the station manager. But the train pulls ahead, and he collects himself, checks his ticket, and sits down at his window seat.

* * *

Tsukishima slumps forward as the nervousness in his stomach lurches into his throat, threatening him with a wave of nausea as realization hits him like a sack of bricks.

 _He's definitely done it now_.

His phone is vibrating with a new text message and Tsukishima sees it's from Yamaguchi.

》 **From** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **To** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **Subject** : ?!?!?!?!?!?  
》 **Message** : Tsukki? Where are you??? You suddenly took off. I was going to your house to borrow a DVD of One Piece from you, remember?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He has plans for the weekend. His parents don't even know about his trip. His brother's in town for two weeks and is looking forward to the both of them eating out to Tanaka's older sister's restaurant. 

Tsukishima checks his wallet. There's nothing but a handful thousand of yen. It could last him food for the weekend, but nothing else. That's when he realizes that he's spent all of his money on the shinkansen ticket.

A _one-way_ shinkansen ticket.

He's so screwed. He's so, so screwed. 

》 **From** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **To** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **Subject** : Re: ?!?!?!?!?!?  
》 **Message** : I'm in a shinkansen to Tokyo.

It takes only five seconds for Yamaguchi's caller ID to pop up on his screen.

"Eh?!?!?!?" Yamaguchi screams into his ear as soon as he picks up. Tsukishima shushes him. He's still on a train, after all, and it's considered impolite by some to talk on the phone in public transport, but he's so tired and drained from traveling 100 kilometers per hour to see a playboy with hair sticking up like a damn rooster. "Tsukki, when I told you about Kuroo, this isn't what I meant!"

"I know that!" He whispers fervently, and he's pinching the bridge of his nose between his glasses, because there's _definitely_ a stress-headache brewing. "Fuck, I don't even have any money to buy another ticket home."

"Does Kuroo know?"

"Know what?"

"That you're coming!"

"Oh." Tsukishima's voice is small now. "N...no."

"Tsukki!!!"

"I swear, you're not the Yamaguchi I know with all this screaming."

"And you're not the Tsukki I know!" And that stings a little. Tsukishima mentally replays their conversation to find out if he's said something wrong, but stops when he hears Yamaguchi laughing. "Ah... maybe this'll work out."

"How can you laugh at a situation like this?! How can this possibly work out?!"

"Tell Kuroo you're coming. I think you'll be in for a surprise." He can practically feel Yamaguchi's smile through the phone. "I'll tell your parents you're at my place but I'm telling Akiteru to come pick you up, just hash it out with him. Enjoy Tokyo for the weekend~"

"Asshole," Tsukishima grumbles, but his shoulders relax. He's genuinely grateful from the bottom of his heart. His parents trust Yamaguchi like he's another son, and Akiteru will save his ass no matter what, with that big brother complex of his. "Thanks."

"No problem. Make sure to tell Kuroo you're coming, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah." He's about to hang up when he pauses. "Yamaguchi?"

"Hm?"

"You said going to Tokyo wasn't what you meant when you said, well, that," he worded it out slowly. "What did you mean?"

And Yamaguchi laughs for a second time. "I was thinking more of a sudden confession. You're the type to hide emotions, Tsukki. Suddenly being vulnerable and confessing your feelings is pretty impulsive, but taking a surprise trip to Tokyo is a bit over-the-top."

They talk a little more after that until Tsukishima finally hangs up. His chest feels less tight now, and his mind is still racing but at least he's got a game plan of sorts, shoddy as it is.

He's going to text Kuroo. He's going to confess. If all goes well, and he wants it to go well, Tsukishima's going to have a blast.

If not, well... he'll just have to call Akaashi for help, ask for a place to stay, then have Akiteru pick him up in the morning. He can deal with the emotional wreck he'll probably be when he's back in Miyagi.

 _Yes_ , he thinks, as he opens LINE once more. _That's as good a plan as ever_.

》 **KurooCat** : Alright, Tsukki, here's my last question:  
》 **KurooCat** : Question 20! What's the most impulsive thing you've ever done in your entire life?

The message is still there, open, inviting. Tsukishima sees that Kuroo's little bubble is in "Away" mode, meaning he's connected to the internet but not using his phone. He swallows his pride, types up a reply, checks the time, deletes a line.

》 **Tsukkisaur** : The most impulsive thing I've done in my entire life?  
》 **Tsukkisaur** : I did something pretty crazy recently.  
》 **Tsukkisaur** : I bought a train ticket to Tokyo on a whim to visit the person I like.  
》 **Tsukkisaur** : See you in 20 minutes.

 _Confess_. Yamaguchi makes it sound so easy, but no matter his false bravado with his online persona, even a simple "I like you" was beyond him. 

There's a constant stream of _fuck, fuck, fuck_ as he reads and re-reads the messages he's sent. Tsukishima is starting to get cold feet, and he tries to look for a way to unsend a message on LINE when suddenly Kuroo goes online.

Tsukishima could feel his stomach falling through his legs and into Hell as the messages are read.

_There's no turning back._

He sees a bubble pop up and those three little dots that appear when the other person starts typing. Then it stops. It starts again. Then it stops. It goes on for two whole minutes, and Tsukishima is just staring, not sure what to do, not sure what it means.

Then, Kuroo goes offline.

 _Fuck. Fuck. FUCK_.

"Congratulations, you just blew your chance, and your cash," Tsukishima tells himself. It's ten minutes to the train's arrival in the station at Tokyo, and the JR East jingle signalling their arrival just rang through the PA system. 

Tsukishima feels a shard cold as ice pierce through his chest when he's seen Kuroo go offline. That's as mild a rejection as he can get, and he'll gladly take it. A verbal no would have hit him harder and with more force. Call Tsukishima a masochist of sorts but he'd rather handle a stop of communication, letting the wound fester and healing bit by bit, on its own time.

《 _The Tohoku Shinkansen has arrived in Tokyo Station. Passengers may alight when the doors open to your right. Thank you for your patronage to JR East._ 》

He can do this. Tokyo was a massive place, and it was easy to get lost. It's a comforting thought. Tsukishima is in the capital, with millions of other people who have problems of their own, hustling and bustling in their own little bubble of a world. He's not a bright star in the middle of an ocean of darkness. 

His worries and problems are infinitesimally small. But that means that it's not impossible for Tsukishima to get through it, even if right now he feels like he'd rather curl up in a ball and hide from society for a million years. He can do this. He'll get through it; someway, somehow.

Tsukishima sighs weakly, then pulls his phone out, scrolling for a track. He guesses he'll listen to some music as he texts Akaashi, and it'll probably be an hour at the very least before he's picked up. He'll invent a cover story for his doomed trip and text Akiteru about what happened. 

Until then, it'd be best for him to just bum it out at the station. There's nowhere else to go, no one else to call. Alone in the metropolitis with his thoughts and with his aching chest.

He's pulling his headphones over his ears and opening Akaashi's LINE messenger when he hears his name being called.

"...kki! God, fuck, shit, excuse me... Tsukki!" 

Tsukishima turns to see Kuroo trying to squeeze through the throngs of people. He wants to say that he recognizes the Nekoma blazer straight away, the red and white contrast working like a signal beam in the sea of black and gray suits, but he'd be lying. Anyone could identify him from miles away based on his ridiculous, gravity-defying hairstyle alone.

Finally, the crowd parts and they're standing an arm's length away from each other. Tsukishima leans back a little, hand holding the strap of his bag wrapped around his chest, but he's really checking his heart rate. Right now, its pace is at a million beats per minute, or so it seems like.

Kuroo looks as good as ever. He's panting, and grinning, at a loss for words. There's surprise all over his face, and he looks like he ran, and is he wearing his practice gym shorts and two different-colored shoes? He definitely ran to the station --

"Hey," he breathes out, and hearing him so winded but happy makes Tsukishima's hand grip the bag strap harder to keep his calm. "Tsukki! Glad I caught ya. Have you been waiting long?"

"No." He shakes his head, averts his eyes. "It's only been five minutes since the train left." Kuroo is blushing from the strenuous exercise and his eyes are twinkling. Tsukishima is falling even more head over heels. Fuck, what is he doing here?!

"Great, great! Not to sound like a mom, but I totally did _not_ expect you to come to Tokyo..." Kuroo looks around Tsukishima, presumably for an overnight bag. When he finds none, he checks Tsukishima's shoulder. Then his face falls into confusion.

He sniggers a little, but it's empty. "Yeah, well, I didn't really plan it. Kind of spur-of-the-moment, you know."

"So impulsive!" Kuroo laughs and pats his shoulder. Tsukishima feels his warmth even through the layers of clothes of his uniform. "But really, who is it that you're here to see?"

"I'm here to see the person I like." Despite the twisting in his gut, it falls from Tsukishima's mouth like it's nothing. "Didn't you read my message?"

Kuroo grins, a little cheekily. "I did. But you didn't really specify _who_ it was."

"Oh, for the love of..." Kuroo isn't an idiot, or he'd never have fallen in love with him. The guy probably already knows. Tsukishima looks up at his face, and he's got the look of a lovestruck puppy. Scratch that, this guy _definitely_ knows. But he's making him say it, out loud, in person, right here and right now.

Tsukishima's no simpering maiden, but he's sure that his cheeks and ears were pink just by how hot they feel. "You're here, and there's no one else in Tokyo I'm close to. Figure it out by yourself."

"So harsh," Kuroo bemoans dramatically, but reaches for Tsukishima's arm. "Come on, come on. You don't have a bag at all, huh? You can sleep at my place, I'll lend you some clothes. It's nearby, so don't worry."

Tsukishima feels weird about this whole thing. He feels weirder when Kuroo's hand moves down to grasp his own as they weave through the bustling crowd to avoid being lost and separated.

"Phew, and you came at rush hour, too," Kuroo says as they emerge from the station exit. Dusk has just settled in the horizon and the skyscrapers are just bursting with neon lights. 

Tsukishima huffs. "I told you, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing!" 

"Yeah, yeah, most impulsive thing you've ever done," Kuroo repeats. 

He's about to drag Tsukishima eastward, no doubt to where his apartment is, when Tsukishima pulls back. They end up standing awkwardly apart but linked by the hands, and Kuroo blinks at him in confusion. 

"Your turn."

"Huh?"

"Your turn." Tsukishima looks up at him through his glasses. "You must think I'm pathetic by doing this. I still have one question, don't I?"

Kuroo smiles faintly. It's adorable and warm and could probably melt ice glaciers. "Alright, fire away."

"What's the most impulsive thing you've done in your entire life?"

Internally, Tsukishima thinks whether he's wasted his 20th with an unoriginal question. When he sees Kuroo silent, the look on his face unreadable, he backpedals. _Hard_. "I mean, I doubt it'll beat this --"

There's a pressure on his lips, soft and nudging. Tsukishima knows. He's seen Kuroo step forward, seen the hand that is now cupping his cheek. He feels Kuroo's body heat as they finally close the distance between them.

One kiss turns into two, then into three. They're not deep kisses, but they're fiery all the same, and when Tsukishima leans back and resurfaces for air, both of them are as red as Kuroo's jacket.

They're quiet for a little while before they start giggling, giddy with requited love. Tsukishima is pulled into Kuroo, encircled in his warmth, and he allows himself to lean his head against Kuroo's chest. They stay like that, happy and content, their hearts racing but beating in sync.

"That," Kuroo mumbles, and Tsukishima leans back to see the other with a wide grin plastered on their face. " _That_ was the most impulsive thing I've ever done in my life." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS:
> 
> "Tokyo?!" Akiteru's shout is loud enough through Tsukishima's phone that he doesn't even need to use speaker mode. "What the hell are you thinking?"
> 
> "I wasn't," he replies truthfully. He's sitting on the floor in Kuroo's bedroom. His parents are out and his host is just taking a long bath after an eventful night of practice and a surprise visit from his now-boyfriend. "Sorry."
> 
> Akiteru makes a long-suffering sigh. Then: "Are you okay? Have you got a place to stay? Do you have money with you?"
> 
> "I-"
> 
> "I have friends in Tokyo that can help, I'll call them if you need anything --"
> 
> "I'm fine," he stresses, and at this point Kuroo enters the room. His hair is still ridiculous even damp, but his smile is soft as he pats his face dry. Tsukishima returns the smile as he talks with his brother on the phone. "I'm more than fine right now."
> 
> "Eh? Oy? What's that supposed to mean? Kei??? Don't think I won't twist your ear when I pick you up on Monday!"


	2. All lines are suspended until further notice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wind's picking up," Yamaguchi says off-handedly as a breeze rushes past them, ruffling their clothes. "It's cold. Probably going to rain later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USER REFERENCES:
> 
> *Tsumkki & Tetsumtsum 》》》 Kuroo gives Tsukishima a Disney Tsum Tsum keychain and Yamaguchi off-handedly says that Tsukishima's holding onto it dearly. So Kuroo changed their nicknames to incorporate Tsum Tsums into their names.
> 
> *Kozume Kami-Sama 》》》Yaku comes across the series "The World God Only Knows", where the protagonist is a gamer. So the nickname "Kozume Kami-Sama"//"God Kozume" sticks.
> 
> *Neighbor Te(tsu)toro 》》》 from My Neighbor Totoro.

* * *

It's July in Tokyo, and the heat is stifling.

Tsukishima doesn't care, though. He's asked permission from his parents to go to Tokyo for the weekend to see the graduation of what he claims to be a 'close friend'. They're happy, of course, and it pisses Tsukishima off a smidge when they say things like "We're glad you've gotten more friends through volleyball!" But he doesn't deny them. They had met through the sport, so it wasn't exactly wrong.

To appease their worries, though, Yamaguchi tags along. He's happy for them both, and Yamaguchi has texted with Kuroo plenty of times, but never actually met the guy since he didn't have an actual reason to go to Tokyo.

Until now, that is.

"Thanks for coming, really," he says in a moment of openness. Yamaguchi just smiles as acknowledgement. Tsukishima has been more open lately, and it's refreshing to see him so carefree. It's plain on his face that things are great between them both.

But Tsukishima also knows that the inverse could also be said. His plays are off when he's worried about Kuroo's health, he lets through so many spikes when he's mad at his passive-aggressiveness, and he fumbles receives when he misses his boyfriend.

At this point the team knows that something is wrong with Tsukishima, but the way he grits his teeth and cusses at every mistake has them staying a spike's length away. Coach Ukai has time and time again pulled him aside for some emergency counselling, but Tsukishima says nothing about his relationship status nor his life, so the conversations lead to nowhere.

Now, though, everything's fine. Have been, for the past few weeks. Kuroo's stress levels had mixed with Tsukishima's own at a bad time, which resulted in many, many fights over the most trivial things that both of them can't even remember afterwards. 

But something seems to be off. Tsukishima feels it. The sun is too bright, the clouds are fluffy and white. Their train ride to Nekoma High is there on time, and the air conditioning is at full blast. There's a heat wave alert in major cities like Tokyo -- especially Tokyo -- because the summer sun bearing down is no laughing matter.

Still, Tsukishima is skeptic. But he doesn't voice them out, because, as a lot of people have already commented, he could be such a downer.

"You alright, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi asks from his seat. 

Tsukishima nods. He has his headphones around his neck like always, but he doesn't put them on. He's tried to listen to music in the shinkansen coming over, but nothing really appeals to him at the moment. "Why do you ask?"

"You seem... sullen." There's a strange look in Yamaguchi's face, and before he tells him to stop he asks. "Is everything al-"

"Everything's fine," he says forcefully. It makes his best friend wince, and Tsukishima sighs. "Sorry. It really is. I just... I don't know. It's been... hard, lately."

"But you said you haven't fought in a while?"

"Yeah, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop," he mumbles, burying his head in his hands.

He knows this isn't healthy. This isn't how love is supposed to work, right? It's not dreading an argument, looking for inconsistencies in every conversation. It's not paranoia or nagging or isolation. A relationship centered around love is supposed to be wonderful, and beautiful. 

Tsukishima's heart would race everytime he sees Kuroo's chathead glow green. Now it hammers in his chest with dread because if he says one small thing wrong, it'll end up exploding in his face.

He'll never admit it to anyone that he's so desperate he's read those ridiculous Cosmopolitan articles with headlines like " _Signs that he's not into you_ ", or " _Spice up your sex life_ ". 

Without thinking, he's fidgeting at the silver ring on his right hand, a habit he's developed and exhibited whenever he'd overthink. And he overthinks a lot, so Yamaguchi puts a stop to it immediately.

He grabs his phone from Tsukishima's lap and opens the front camera. "Say cheese."

Tsukishima pouts. "No."

Yamaguchi doesn't answer and puts up a peace sign, snapping a pic in just the right angle that makes his hand cover Tsukishima's eyes and mouth. He sends it to Kuroo through LINE.

》 **Tsumkki** : _sent a photo_   
》 **Tsumkki** : We're comin! -Yama

The reply is instant.

》 **Tetsumtsum** : LOL! Hey Yama  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : _sent a photo_  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : show this to Kei, would ya? ;^)

 _Please, God, whoever's up there, let it not be a dick pic,_ Tsukishima prays, and he panicks because Yamaguchi instantly clicks at the photo, no malice expected.

Instead, it's a cute selfie. Kuroo was doing a peace sign as well, and Kenma's hair is recognizable beside him, but Tsukishima fixates on the change of clothes. 

Kuroo's in a suit and tie that Tsuki usually only sees hung on a hanger by the wall during their many video calls well into the night. Nekoma's uniform consisted of light grey slacks, a white button up, a red striped tie, a black sweater vest, and a navy coat. Tsukishima won't lie, the navy throws it off, but everything else looks damn good.

Too good, because it brings memories flooding back into his brain. He has to turn away after three seconds of staring because his face is bright red.

"He looks great!" Yamaguchi exclaims innocently, and Tsukishima makes some kind of noise that's passable as a sound of agreement.

Tsukishima is _not_ thinking about how he undid that tie with his teeth. He's _not_ thinking of how Kuroo groans at the sight of Tsukishima muffling his lewd sounds by biting on his sweater vest. He's _definitely_ not thinking of the morning after, when Kuroo prepared him breakfast after a lazy morning makeout session, and Tsukishima makes a conscious decision to wear his button down shirt over his boxers and nothing else. 

It's the memory of Tsukishima's first, and Kuroo was a gracious partner, strong and giving, equally rough, when Tsukishima is sure he can take it, and loving, when tears of pleasure start rolling down his cheeks. They retreat back to bed and snuggle some more until Tsukishima needs to leave for the weekend, but he remembers vividly how Kuroo traces each and every love bite bruising his pale skin, how his body hurt with a good kind of sore.   
  
All of those memories from a single fucking picture.

He was so, so whipped.

The bus finally stops and both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima leave, looking everywhere and finding the imposing main building of Nekoma High quite easily. It was big, easily bigger than Karasuno, but it's a powerhouse school in Tokyo, of all places, so really, what did Tsukishima expect?

"Wind's picking up," Yamaguchi says off-handedly as a breeze rushes past them, ruffling their clothes. 

Tsukishima shrugs and just fixes his hair. "At least it helps with the heat."

"It's cold. Probably going to rain later." 

"Then we should get inside before it starts."

Quickly, they find the main event hall and show their passes to the teachers checking. Kuroo got lucky scoring extra passes for him and Yamaguchi when a classmate of theirs backed out of the formal ceremony. It was usually an event reserved for family only. His heart swells at the thought of Kuroo actually thinking about them attending.

"Yamaguchi," he whispers. "I'll just be going to the bathroom. Save me a seat, alright?"

His best friend looks confused, but smiles anyway. "Of course!"

* * *

  
_This is so petty,_ Tsukishima thinks as he checks himself in the mirror.

No one is in the men's bathroom except him, which is a relief in and of itself. The ceremony's about to start, of course, so it's understandable that everyone is taking their places. 

Not Tsukishima, though. He's thinking of sending a very distracting selfie to one-up his dear boyfriend and have him fidgeting through the whole ceremony like he needs to go to the bathroom, badly.

But he doesn't know where to start. He checks his clothes and deems it okay. He's wearing something stuffy -- or formal, as Akiteru keeps correcting him -- but it's only a pair of black slacks and a button-up shirt in the color of Prussian Blue. Because of the heat, he has the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and in doing so defines his strong, pale arms.

Blue suits him; Kuroo says so. He's been told many many times that his yellow hair and golden eyes are so bright, and he should definitely play it out by wearing contrasting dark colors. Black is basic. Red makes him look like a king. But deep blue makes him look like an ethereal being rising out of the depths of the ocean. 

Or so his boyfriend lies. Regardless, Tsukishima may or may not have used that as a basis point on what color he's supposed to wear for the ceremony. 

"Let's see..." he undoes the top three buttons of his shirt so that it hangs open. Tsukishima has a long neck, and the open neckline just exposes his skin more. He likes it, likes the detached feel of it with his naturally cold stare.

His face. "Well..." He fixes his hair in place, smiling a little. Tsukishima's decided to let his hair grow, and right now there's an adorable fluff of hair that partially covers his forehead. Many girls in Karasuno stop him to compliment his style, to the chagrin of the likes of Hinata and Nishinoya. He figures Kuroo would like it too.

"Wait." _One last touch_ , he thinks, and he removes his glasses. He's not blind without them, but everything's just a bit unclear.

He takes his phone out, cocks his hip a little to the side, takes a mirror selfie. He tilts his head, snaps another one. Didn't Kuroo like him doing this specific face? He tries it out, takes a picture.

After the fifteenth one, Tsukishima has finally come to the conclusion that he might have an ego problem. He fixes himself up and puts his glasses on at the exact time that some boys wearing Nekoma uniforms barge in. They don't have pins on the lapels of their coats, and they don't look old enough to be graduating. Tsukishima figures they're just here to witness their senpais leaving.

He sends a couple of pictures that he deems hot enough to Kuroo with a little smiling demon emoji to send the message home, then leans over the sink.

"Can you believe Kuroo-senpai isn't going pro?" 

In the middle of pretending to wash his hands, Tsukishima stills, ears straining to listen.

"I really, really can't! The guy's so good, and a great captain to boot!"

 _He is_ , Tsukishima agrees in his head as he lets the water run. _He could be a pro if he wanted._

"I heard a rumor he wanted to, but half-assed his application," the first student says as he finishes his business. "Do you know if he's going to which university?"

"I asked, and he said he hasn't even decided yet!"

"Oh my God, that's Kuroo-senpai for you! Always leaving things to the last minute!"

 _Oy, oy, oy,_ Tsukishima pales, as the students laugh in incredulity. _That's not something to laugh about! Kuroo surely won't.._.

"Hey," one of the students whisper. "Isn't that Karasuno's first-year middle blocker...? The one that blocked Ushijima's spike?"

"Eh??? Whoa, you're right! What's he doing here?"

Tsukishima feels faint. He dries his hands and leaves the bathroom in a hurry to catch the opening ceremony. He does, barely, and is quiet beside Yamaguchi.

There's a twisting feeling in his gut that does not settle. His phone chirps with a notification, and he blindly opens it to see Kuroo's flood of messages.

》 **Tetsumtsum** : 😳😳😳😳😳  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : 💙💙💙💙💙  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : 🍑🍆💦  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : 😏😏😏😏😏  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : 😫👌😫👌😫👌  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : Tsukki, you animal, I can't stand still hdhjdkdkfk  
》 **Tetsumtsum** : Where are you?

He thinks of hitting him back with a single "Perv" but he can't bring himself to do it. He sees Kuroo's hair turning every which way, not even being subtle. When he finally sees Tsukishima, he visibly brightens and waves like a maniac before Kenma smacks his arm to subdue him. Tsukishima waves back, plastering a small smile on his face, but it's forced.

His mind is racing, and he drowns everything out.

* * *

  
The ceremony formally finishes, but the students are still dawdling. They're crying -- mostly the women are, but the men are rowdier than usual to try and stop the swell of emotions. Once the pictures have been taken, the real crying starts. Everyone has marker pens in their hands, asking their friends and classmates to sign a goodbye message onto their uniforms. 

It's a classic tradition, and although some schools ban it, they can't really forbid them when they've officially graduated from the institution. Tsukishima is fixating on a gaggle of girls intent on having Kuroo sign something on their blouses. He acquiesces, writing something generic. He has to lean over because the space for writing is on the girl's ribcage, and Tsukishima doesn't realize he's had a vice claw of a grip on his slacks.

The girl suddenly leans up and kisses Kuroo on the cheek. There's a moment's pause where she leans in closer to whisper something in his ear. Kuroo laughs a little, blushes. 

_He's flattered_. Tsukishima is digging his nails into his pants at this point, but stands up. "Yamaguchi, let's go." 

"Huh? Eh?" Yamaguchi asks, but stands up all the same. Tsukishims is already sidling out the row of seats to get to the exit. "Wait, hold on -- Tsukki!"

"I need fresh air," he lies easily. 

The look on Tsukishima's face must have been murderous, because the group parts easily to let him through. There's a side-door he exits to, and there's a smoking area set up for the parents who need a cigarette break. He hates the smell of it, doesn't know what's so good about inhaling nicotine, but it'll have to do.

He's texting Yamaguchi that he's outside and waiting to leave when he hears his name being called. He doesn't need to turn around, because he knows who that voice belongs to.

Kuroo appears beside him, and it's with great timing since the adults are leaving to go back to the event hall. Once they're finally alone, Kuroo wraps a hand around his waist, pulls him close. 

"You always look so good, you know that?" He whispers, and Tsukishima hates how his purr sends shivers down his spine. He's nibbling lightly against Tsukishima's jaw, hands searing heat even through his clothes. "Don't worry, no one can see us here..."

"S-Stop," he mumbles, and Kuroo stills. Tsukishima's hand is on his chest. A gentle nudge and his boyfriend leans back, gives him air that he breathes in to try and forget Kuroo's heady cologne. But the smoke seems only to amplify it, and he covers his nose and mouth with his hand to stop it. 

"Are you okay?" Kuroo is worried; it's plain on his face. He's giving him space to breathe, and Tsukishima can see his uniform button-down is full of scribbles of congratulations. "Hey, breathe... Well, this isn't really a good place to. Want to go for a walk? I can show you around."

"I'm fine," he snaps, then sighs. He should really calm down. The cigarette smoke is really getting to him, but little by little, he's getting used to it. 

"Well... if you say so." Kuroo's not sold, though. There's a small quirk in the corner of his lips that signals that he's annoyed. Even through the screen Tsukishima's identified this little warning sign, and it's not any less subtle in person. "D'you wanna go somewhere? There's a restaurant nearby. Mom has to go back to work, but she said she'll meet us later tonight --"

He scoffed. "Cut the crap, Kuroo."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

That's it. He's done it now. Why did he even bother opening his mouth? Was he intentionally picking a fight right from the get-go? _Fuck_ , he thinks. _There goes the other shoe_.

"Look, you've been looking off since the start of the ceremony. No, scratch that, you've been off the whole _day_ ," Kuroo starts angrily. If there were any people nearby, Tsukishima's sure his voice would have scared them away. "I thought we were fine when we exchanged pics, but clearly that's not the case."

"Shut up."

"What?"

"I said shut up," Tsukishima hisses, hand curled up in a fist. "As if you care about me."

"Oh my God, listen to yourself," Kuroo scoffs. "What is that supposed to mean? I barely did anything-"

"Pff. At least wipe the damn lipstick you have on your cheek before you meet your boyfriend."

Kuroo starts and angrily smudges the lip mark left by the girl who kissed him on his cheek. "Is that what this is about? She's just a classmate, God."

Tsukishima crosses his arms. "And you didn't think about how that must have been interpreted by your boyfriend who was sitting on the bleachers?"

"Ha!" Kuroo shakes his head. "Unbelievable. I never pegged you to be possessive."

"Well, I never pegged you to be a dick," the blonde hisses. 

_What am I doing?_ In the back of his mind, all kinds of rational thought are swirling, but it seems like his frustration and anger about... about something that he can't even identify is taking control, making him run his mouth. _This is bad, I should stop -_ -

Kuroo laughs, but it's void of humor. Derisive and sarcastic, it grates against Tsukishima's ears and agitates him further. "Fuck's sake, were you always this insecure?"

"Maybe if you weren't so damn secretive, I wouldn't be worryin about every damn thing," he spits out, all logic flying out the window. "When were you going to tell me you haven't decided on anything after graduation?"

That does it -- Kuroo suddenly stills. A cloud passes by overhead, casting shadow onto the third-year's face. "Where did you hear that?"

"Your precious kouhais run their mouths," he replies. "So no university choices, no pro league... God, Kuroo, you're wasting your potential --"

"Don't," Kuroo barks, and in his anger he pounds his fist against the cement wall. "Don't fucking tell me that."

"What? That you've been dawdling? Someone has to keep you in check."

"Oh, and that's supposed to be you?" He says, all snark, his face twisted.

Tsukishima stares him down, because he's not backing away from this. "Somebody has to."

"Do me a favor and fucking piss off." Kuroo straightens and puts his jacket back on. The sky is steadily becoming cloudier, the breeze picking up. "I can't believe you traveled all the way to Tokyo and crash my graduation with your nagging." 

"I do _not_ nag."

"Oh, excuse me. You _overthink_ ," Kuroo scoffs. "And you overstep boundaries."

Tsukishima steps forward, baring his teeth. "And you always think that the universe is going to align itself one way or another so you just sit back and relax. That's not how the world works and you should know that by now."

"What are you, my fucking spirit guide?"

"I'm just thinking about your future!" Tsukishima shouts. It hurts. Everything hurts. His throat is on fire, his head is aching, and his eyes are stinging with angry tears.

Why can't Kuroo see it? His fire burns so brightly with untapped potential that Tsukishima knows is from raw talent polished with many years of experience that many, many athletes can only dream of having. For Kuroo to throw that to the winds of fate is something incomprehensible to him. 

Kuroo's lips are twisted in a snarl. "Will you stop obsessing about my future? It's _mine_! I get to decide what I want to do with it, and not everyone gets an allowance!"

"And I'm saying something because I'm part of it," Tsukishima stresses. He's proper mad now, leaning forward and intruding Kuroo's personal space.

Something's changed, though. Suddenly, Kuroo's aggressiveness drops. It doesn't fade, but it just disappears. The fight suddenly leaves his body, his shoulders relax, his eyes avoid Tsukishima's.

There's a ringing in his ears. A cold sweat breaks out all over his body. Tsukishima's stomach is in knots. This doesn't feel right.

"I... I am a part of it..." he whispers, looking up through his glasses at Kuroo, who is still decidedly avoiding his gaze. "Right...?"

In his mind's eye, he can remember one spring evening when Kuroo had visited Miyagi and had stayed the night, when his parents had gone on a trip and they had the house to themselves. He'd brought a small gift -- a promise ring, the very same silver ring Tsukishima wears on his finger everyday. 

He remembers Kuroo holding it up to the light of the full moon, slipping it onto Tsukishima's finger. It was quiet around them save for the rustle of trees in the evening breeze. The fireflies were just starting to come out for the season, blinking lazily as they surrounded them.

 _A promise_ , Kuroo had whispered, brushing his lips against Tsukishima's pale knuckles. _A promise that I'll be yours, and you'll be mine, for many years to come._

He remembers. He remembers it, oh, so vividly. But right now, Tsukishima is hyperaware of the ring around his finger, and it feels heavy as if made of lead.

It is quiet between them now, and Tsukishima has never found the silence so deafening before.

A question falls from his lips before he could even stop it. Not as if he wants to. "Do you even want me still in your future?"

Kuroo snorts, arms crossed defensively on his chest. "If I'm being honest, a future with you like this is sounding like a real pain in the ass."

Tsukishima isn't a medical expert, nor does he plan to become one. But there's a sudden coldness in his chest, where his heart is supposed to be, that doesn't sit right. He knows something is wrong. He feels pain, and his vision swims.

"Right," he says faintly. What else is there to say? Kuroo is giving his damnedest effort to not meet his gaze, but Tsukishima knows he can't ever look back at him. 

Slowly, he turns away, and takes the ring off his finger. He drops it to the ground as he keeps walking. There is no goodbye to be said, no parting words necessary. Kuroo doesn't pull him back. He doesn't apologize. He doesn't even give him the time of the day and treat him with decency.

This is the end. They both know it. 

What good would words of finality bring? 

* * *

》 **From** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **To** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **Subject** : Tsukki?  
》 **Message** : Tsukki, where are you? I can't find you. You're not answering my messages or my calls. Are you okay?

* * *

》 **From** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **To** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **Subject** : This isn't funny  
》 **Message** : I'm serious. Pick up your phone. I'm getting worried.

* * *

》 **From** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **To** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **Subject** : Something's wrong  
》 **Message** : Something happened, I'm sure of it. I just saw Kenma-san and the other members of the team run out. There's a rumor going around that Kuroo is injured. Are you okay? Are you with him? 

* * *

》 **From** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **To** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **Subject** : Please.  
》 **Message** : Please, please, pick up. Kei. Please.

* * *

》 **12 Missed Call(s** ) from **Guchi-Gang** 《

* * *

《 _The Tohoku shinkansen bound for Sendai has left the Tokyo station._ 》

Tsukishima barely makes it into his seat before the waterworks begin.

He's thankful to whoever god is up there looking down at his pathetic situation now that the train is mostly empty. A feat, given that there are quite a lot of people going from the capital to the countryside and vice-versa for the summer. His cabin is nearly empty save from another student in a middle-school uniform seated eight rows ahead of him with headphones on, effectively dead to the world.

Tsukishima feels a desperate whine scrape his throat and escape his lips, and he doubles over, hands clamping on his mouth to try and stop it. Tears are spilling out from his eyes in steady streams, and his shoulders are shaking as he tries and fails to contain his emotions.

There is a hollowness inside him that is chilling and cold to the bone. He has monumentally fucked up a good thing for no fucking reason. Questions are swirling in his mind. _What if he was a tad bit more understanding? What if he just shut his mouth? What if he trusted Kuroo more?_

Another voice, one that painfully reminds him of Kuroo, snaps back. _What good are these questions when what's done is already done?_

He screws his eyes shut. There was nothing to be done, nothing at all. What once was theirs is not anymore, and Tsukishima doesn't have any idea if it's even fixable. By the looks of it, their relationship is broken beyond repair.

There's a vibrating noise from his bag, and he reaches for it, trying to steady his breathing with large, uneven gulps of air. He sees the flood of messages and calls from Yamaguchi, each one more worried than the last, and he's suddenly racked with guilt that he left his best friend behind in his emotionally-wrecked state.

》 **From** : It'sO-Kei  
》 **To** : Guchi-Gang  
》 **Subject** : Sorry.  
》 **Message** : I headed back to Sendai first. I'm sorry. Something came up. I can't talk right now.

Right after he's sent the message, he's sure Yamaguchi will pester him to no end. He turns off his phone and curls up in a ball on his seat. Tsukishima pulls his legs to his chest, burying his face in the fabric of his slacks, trying and failing to keep his breathing regular. But his chest feels constricted, and the world feels too overwhelming.

_Is this what it feels like to die?_

* * *

》 **From** : Kozume Kami-Sama  
》 **To** : Neighbor Te(tsu)toro  
》 **Subject** : You're an idiot.  
》 **Message** : You've got a lot of explaining to do. Call me when you get this.

 _Fuck_ , Kuroo thinks. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

He's standing in the train to where his apartment is, and he's getting looks and stares. Whispers of incorrect guesses of how he looks like a thug with his spiky hair and tall disposition, plus his injuries and swollen eyes.

It stings. His heavily-bandaged hand stings. But he's still clenching it into a fist - consciously or not, he doesn't know - trying to make sense of what's happened. 

Kuroo doesn't know what came over him. One minute, he's happy to see his boyfriend come a long way to celebrate his graduation with him. The man even dressed in blue, in a shade that made him look like he was a prince of a distant kingdom made of ice. He's sure that when Tsukishima sent those mirror selfies from earlier, Kuroo's heart went straight to his dick, because he remembers cursing at his slacks for suddenly being too tight for comfort.

But suddenly, there's a sense of frustration and defensiveness, baseless when it comes to any matter regarding Tsukishima. And Kuroo just lashed out, like a grumpy toddler in need of a nap, pushing away the one good thing in his life right now.

Perhaps it happened because of an accumulation of stress. His mother's asked him what he wants to do after graduation every night for the past month, and he's still not prepared with an answer. Kenma's said he'll be participating in the volleyball world still, but not as a player anymore. Kuroo's been scouted by agencies, but nothing any specific; just a general invitation that's more or less lip service. 

To be honest, he doesn't know what he wants. Kuroo laments every day the amount of pressure teenagers are faced when it comes to deciding their fates in adulthood. A thoughtless and impulsive decision can lead to nothing but a lifetime of regret, and Kuroo hates regret. He wants to take 100% of the chances he receives, but he finds himself not being able to fully commit to any of the consequences it might bring.

Tsukishima is his exact opposite. He's had a one-track mind and over-analyses everything that comes his way. It's how his mind works on and off the court, and Kuroo has always admired him for this ability. But when he keeps asking the same questions that he's unable to answer for the past four weeks, is it not reasonable for frustration to well up in his chest?

 _Tsukishima_. Kuroo can't even begin to process what he's done, what they've done. Whatever happened outside the event hall can only be considered as One Gigantic Mess, and he doesn't know where to start. 

He remembers the scene, vividly as though it's branded into the back of his eyelids. He knows he'd fucked up, on the scale of Godzilla, but he couldn't do anything. His face and mouth had stopped working when he's spared a glance at his lover and sees pain and heartbreak plain on his face.

His voice didn't work. His mind stopped functioning. He sees something silver drop to the ground.

Two minutes after, his body finally moves, but it doesn't follow Tsukishima. Instead, it barrels forward, feet bringing him to the concrete wall. 

His knuckles are already split and bruised and bleeding by the time the other members of the volleyball team pull him back. 

They've brought him to the infirmary, where the nurse talks to him softly as she cleans and disinfects the open wounds. It stings but he powers through, mainly because his stream of consciousness is in full-blown panic mode.

Kuroo alights from the train and leaves the station only to find himself stranded. Despite the sunny weather earlier in the day, rain had started to pour in a torrential state, with no chance of lightening up anytime soon. He's forgotten to bring his umbrella, since he doesn't have his proper bag with him. 

Sighing, he goes to a corner of the station, and calls Kenma.

It rings twice before his best friend answers. "Talk."

"Hello to you, too," Kuroo replies sarcastically, but there's no bite in his words. 

"Now."

"What am I supposed to --"

"It's about Tsukishima, I know it."

He tries to laugh it off, but it comes off airy. "What? What makes you think that?"

Kenma snorts. "I'm with his friend, Yamaguchi-san. He's in total panic mode. Tsukishima just left for Miyagi all on his own without telling anyone."

There's a pang in his chest. Tsukishima left. He's _left._ No goodbyes, not even a single backwards glance.

"He's traveled alone before, he'll be fine."

"Are you sure about that? Wouldn't he be too messed up since you broke up?"

Kuroo flinches, though he really shouldn't. _That was what happened._ He admits that it hurts; of course it does. But he's sure it'll all come around.

Through the phone, Kenma clicks his tongue. "Tch. Are you thinking everything's just gonna work out?" 

"Are you sure you're not psychic?"

"His ring is with me. I picked it up while you were being brought to the infirmary."

The ring. Kuroo gulps and pulls out a thin chain from underneath his clothes, where one-half of the pair of rings he purchased for the two of them is strung with. He wears it everyday, as a symbolic reminder of the promise he made to Tsukishima. 

_A promise that I'll be yours, and you'll be mine, for many years to come._

The future. Kuroo is scared of it, despises the uncertainty of having such broad choices that direct your life. But when he's made that promise to Tsukishima, he's always had him in mind. He wants him by his side. He wants to achieve everything with him. He wants to cheer for him and comfort him, wants to breathe the same air as him, wants to love him to the fullest.

It's only now that he realizes he's done it. He's done something terribly, terribly wrong. 

Kenma is in the middle of a lecture about sensitivity and emotions when Kuroo cuts through. "I have to go."

"Go," Kenma urges. "Now, before it's too late."

He doesn't know what's come over him, but he runs. Though the rain makes it hard for him to see, and his dress shoes are slipping in the puddles of water on the sidewalk, Kuroo makes his legs work. The wind is not on his side, and the chill of the rainwater seeps into his skin easily. He runs to the central station, checks the timeboard.

The previous shinkansen's departure was forty-five minutes ago. Kuroo leaves for the cashier. "When's the next train to Sendai?" He asks, breathing heavily.

The cashier jumps a little at the straightforwardness. "U-Uhm, in thirty minutes, but-" 

"One ticket. Student," he says matter-of-factly, already pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. He curses as he notices the leather slightly damp, and he prays for the bills to be at least presentable, when the intercom system rings.

《 _General announcement: Due to inclement weather brought on by an incoming typhoon, all outgoing lines from Tokyo are suspended until further notice. 》_

"No," Kuroo whispers, eyes going wide. "No, no, please, don't."

《 _All passengers are advised to stay at home until the typhoon is over. Until then, all outgoing lines are suspended. We're sorry for the inconvenience. 》_

"No!" Kuroo exclaims, and he turns back to the cashier, who's so obviously alarmed. "Please, I need to get a train to Sendai."

"Sir, I'm sorry --"

"Please, I --"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave --"

"I can't," Kuroo whispers, and suddenly he feels the world tilting. Something's not right. _Nothing_ is going right. "I need to... I need a ticket, please --"

But all his pleading ends in vain. All passengers, for shinkansen or other trains, are stranded. There's a sizeable crowd growing in each minute; passengers hailing taxis or calling relatives about the sudden changes, hiding in the building as the rain gets stronger.

Kuroo steps forward, already drenched and soaking wet. He walks home, mind empty and body sluggish. By the time he arrives in his apartment, he's chilly and feverish, and he jumps into the tub the first chance he gets.

It's five minutes in the warm water that Kuroo realizes the shivering of his hands aren't from the cold. 

There's a thought weighing his mind down. One singular sentence that robs him of his breath and makes his vision darken around the edges.

_This is something that can't be fixed so easily._

He wants to do it right. He does; so, so badly. That's why he needs to talk to Tsukishima, in person. Not through a stream of messages, not through a grainy camera. Kuroo needs him there with him, needs to apologize to his face because he couldn't bring himself to say anything in their confrontation.

But when he finally gets out of the bath, and he fishes his phone out of his bag, what greets him practically guts him, enough for the tears to well up and fall immediately. 

》 **Tsukishima Kei** has cleared your nickname.

》 **Tsukishima Kei** has cleared their nickname.

》 **You cannot reply to this conversation**. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS:
> 
> Akiteru doesn't know what happened in Tokyo.
> 
> In the middle of working, he receives a call from his younger brother. He smiles, because this is a rare event. But that smile falls instantly when he hears Kei's low murmur asking for a ride.
> 
> He's been a big brother longer than he's been an only child. He knows the sound of stifled crying even through his phone.
> 
> He picks him up at Sendai Station and Kei looks like utter shit. He doesn't speak; nor does Akiteru. He only leads him to the car and starts the drive home.
> 
> The silence in the car is not uncomfortable, but it's restless. Akiteru's thoughts are loud, so loud that he wouldn't be surprised if Kei hears them.
> 
> But he doesn't comment. He simply curls up in his seat, looking outside the window with red eyes behind his glasses.
> 
> His phone is chirping. Kei picks it up and taps out a message. Then he stops, then starts doing something else entirely.
> 
> Akiteru can't do this anymore. Not when Kei is making such a face of pain. "I take it the weather in Tokyo was horrible?" He asks.
> 
> "...Mm," Kei hums and lets his phone-holding hand go slack. "It wasn't what I hoped to see when I was there." 
> 
> A small glance at the screen gives Akiteru a clue. He's sure that whoever this 'Kuroo' character is has a direct hand on why Kei is acting like this.
> 
> But this isn't the time to get angry. His hand on the steering wheel tightens marginally before he changes topics. "How about pizza and some ice cream?"
> 
> Kei is silent for a while then nods. Akiteru's not sure if his shoulders relaxed a little, but he takes this as a sign that his brother will be okay.


	3. We apologize for the inconvenience.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 》 To: Yama-Homie  
> 》 From: Kuroo-san  
> 》 Subject: Hey.  
> 》 Message: I know it's been a while, Yamaguchi. I... I'm messaging because I want to ask a favor. I want to talk to Kei. No, I need to. But I'm gonna need your help. You have every reason to hate me, but I'm on the shinkansen right now and I'll be in Miyagi in an hour. Please, Yamaguchi. I need to try to make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USERNAME REFERENCES: 
> 
> 》 Puss in Birds --> a bad play on the phrase "Puss in Boots". Bokuto doesn't realize how bad and graphic that is.  
> 》 KurooCatchi --> a play on "Kurokocchi", one of the nicknames given to the protagonist of the series Kuroko no Basuke, Kuroko Tetsuya.  
> 》Akaashi with an extra A --> a play on Akashi, a character and antagonist for Kuroko no Basuke.  
> 》 Boku-Dake-Ga --> a play on two things: (1) 'Boku Dake Ga' (from Boku dake ga inai machi, or the series ERASED) means "Only Me", and (2) Aomine Daichi, a character from Kuroko no Basuke who says "The only one who can defeat me is me". He's also the ace.

* * *

_Shiiiiit_ , Kuroo swears for the sixth time this morning. 

It's hard not to swear, honestly, when he's being squeezed in all directions. Standing at full height doesn't even give him enough room to breathe, because everyone who can reaches up to hold onto the train handholds to steady themselves as they hurtle through the subway system.

It's the first day of his second semester in university, and he woke up late. He curses inwardly at his stupid decision of rewatching past Nekoma High volleyball matches and not minding the time. Kuroo barely registers that it's already 1 in the morning when he finally passes out from exhaustion. His alarm at 5 in the morning (set because he wanted to cook himself breakfast and avoid the morning rush hour) goes unbothered, and by the time he finally wakes to the sound of the city coming alive, he only has an hour left to get ready for his first class at 8.

 _Who the fuck invented 8 AM classes in universities, anyway?_ He asks that everyday. At this point, he can't help but marvel at his past self, being up every morning and having enough energy to last until evening practice in high school. It's as if when he entered university, Kuroo's energy reserves were halved, and now he can barely get through a full day of classes plus his part-time job without at least two cups of coffee.

The doors to the train finally open and Kuroo streams out with the crowd. He doesn't feel bad that he does an embarrassing gulp for air right out the gate. He gives himself half a minute to compose himself before he all but runs to campus, deftly checking his phone for the room.

It's been seven months since his high school graduation, and his summer has been eventful at the very least, if not busy as fuck. Kuroo's finally decided to sign up for university, and even though he's technically admitted late, he thanks his lucky stars that he's gotten a scholarship placement because of his high college admission test scores. He's hung up his chance at going pro for now, because the love for volleyball isn't burning as brightly as it once did, but he still loved the sport itself.

So much that he even coaches in a mini-league as his part-time job. He likes kids, and likes teaching and giving tips because that's what he's good at. Kuroo makes sure they love the sport and master it at the same time; a healthy balance of passion and perseverance. He feels some sort of satisfaction when the kids finally spike properly, or receive well, and when the ball flies and everyone in the court is smiling, Kuroo feels like his part-time job is the best.

But even though he pushes for balance on eleven-year-olds, he doesn't really translate it well in his own personal life. To be fair, Kuroo chose a hard sciences course, majoring in chemistry at a top university in Tokyo. Being good at the sciences is one of his many surprising qualities, as said time and time again by his teammates since he looks like a high school delinquent. If he wasn't admitted in chemistry, he'd probably be in sports management and focusing on volleyball. Even so, he's had to crawl on all fours trying to keep himself up and his scholarship afloat, and as a result spent many all-nighters stressing and filled with energy drinks that make his heart beat like a drum in his chest like he's going to die.

Even then, his best doesn't really translate to good results. After just one semester, he's been called to the scholarship office, given a warning that any mark lower than what he has now would jeopardize his status as a scholar. His lowest grade was just an average score, but hearing that made Kuroo mentally raise the already-too-high limit he's set for himself.

As if he needs yet another fucking reason to be stressed within an inch of his life.

So even if he's stumbling into class at half-past 8 and the teacher glowers at him but ultimately gives him a pass for his tardiness on the first day, he brushes it off. Right now, he's filled to the brim with pre-emptive stress.

Kuroo wants... no, _needs_ to unwind, ASAP.

》 **GROUP: Puss & Birds** 《  
》 **KuroCatchi** : whomst the fuck changed the group name again  
》 **Akashi with an extra** **A** : Bokuto, who else.  
》 **Akashi with an extra A:** Can I please be admin, I want to change my name?  
》 **Akashi with an extra A:** It's so long, I can't take any more of this.  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : LOLOLOLOLOL  
》 **KuroCatchi** : LOLOLOLOL  
》 **Akashi with an extra A** : G r o s s  
》 **Akashi with an extra A** : Why am I even friends with you two.  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : Cos u loooooove us  
》 **KuroCatchi** : that aside  
》 **KuroCatchi** : you guys free to drink?  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : 2nyt? Isnt it ur 1st day?  
》 **KuroCatchi** : bold of you to assume I give a flying fuck  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : ok, point  
》 **Akashi with an extra A** : I have exam revisions.  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : FKRDN's exams for hs graduates ended yesterday wdym  
》 **KuroCatchi** : lmao #exposedt  
》 **KuroCatchi** : just say you don't want to  
》 **Akashi with an extra A** : Ok. I don't want to.  
》 **KuroCatchi** : *sad yeehaw*  
》 **KuroCatchi** : what if I promised you could change your name on the gc  
》 **Akashi with an extra A:** I suddenly want to.  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : eyeeeee 👁  
》 **KuroCatchi** : lmaoooo ez  
》 **KuroCatchi** : around 6? there's this new bar near uni that's kinda famous  
》 **Boku-Dake-Ga** : yeszszsz boszszs 👍👍👍  
》 **Akashi with an extra A** : I'll change out of my uniform and follow.

Kuroo smiles faintly, making sure they both knew the address . Bokuto's gone pro right after graduation, and debuted in October last year to massive success. Akaashi's received his mantle in the meantime, serving as captain of the Fukurodani men's volleyball team, his team finishing 8th in the nationals. Right now he's formally retired and polishing up everything to get into uni and graduate.

Their friendship is a surprising one, considering that they span across schools and the usual upper/under classmen barriers. But it's strong, and Kuroo couldn't ask for better friends. Even though their schedules now don't always sync up, they still get together once every two or three weeks. Sometime either at Kuroo's place, since he's renting an apartment by himself, and sometimes at Akaashi's house. Bokuto's in-between flats, trying to find one that's near their training facility, so he's not settled yet.

He keeps the groupchat alive, sending memes and other nonsensical messages to everybody else. Reaching out when he has more time than he's comfortable with, or something of that sort. 

Kuroo is _not_ lonely. He's definitely _not_ looking for companionship. And he's definitely _not_ feeling a void in his chest from seven months prior that can't be filled by anyone but a tall, snarky, bespectacled blonde from Miyagi with eyes that remind him of a supernova.

Seven months and he couldn't even get himself to buy a ticket to Sendai. He doesn't know how he'll be received... _if_ he'll even be received at all. He's had radio silence not only from Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, but the rest of Karasuno, apart from Hinata, who's a literal ball of sunshine and energy with his endless talks of volleyball matches, and Daichi, who he holds a mutual, yet grudging, respect for. 

The worst part is that Kuroo can't take the leap. He just can't. For someone who believes that going after what he wants with all that he has will definitely get him the results he's expecting, he can't say the same for Tsukishima.

They've ended things on the wrong foot, and Tsukishima's the one that decided enough was enough. Kuroo's saved all their conversations, sometimes rereading them and the arguments, knowing what he did wrong. Kenma has called him a 'stupid sap' time and time again, and at this point he's accepted his fate. 

The thing is, Kuroo's scared of rejection. _Terrified_. 

Kenma's said that it was rich of him to feel this way when he's the one who literally broke it off.

Out of habit, he opens LINE, and his heart skips a beat. He sees the familiar name, with a different picture, of Tsukishima with longer, curlier hair. 

Kuroo can't help but wonder. _How are you? What have you been doing? How are your classes? Have you been eating better? How's the weather in Sendai?_ Generic questions, but when he sees Tsukishima's face on his phone, a ghost of a smile on his face, he can't hold his thoughts back. 

He thinks of him going to school and going through classes that he hates, the one that Tsukishima used to rant about when he came home from school. He thinks of the bruises and the blood clotting on his pale arms after a strenuous day of practice. He thinks of him walking home from school, headphones on as he shuts the world out, to be alone with his thoughts.

Kuroo looks back on an intimate moment one time when he visited for a weekend, where he taught Tsukishima how to tape his fingers and fatigued muscles better. He remembers how quiet it was between them, and how Tsukishima blushed because that was probably the softest moment they've shared in a while.

He remembers bringing up Tsukishima's hand to his lips, leaving small butterfly kisses from his fingertips, his knobby knuckles, his thin wrist, his pulse point. 

"I never want to see you hurt," Kuroo remembers whispering to him into his skin, tracing the outlines of a pesky, persistent bruise. "It hurts thinking about you sustaining injuries."

The blonde had snorted softly. "That's impossible, knowing I'm a volleyball player."

"Still." Kuroo laughs weakly. "I wish I could take care of you, always."

Tsukishima had fixed him with the coolest stare. But when Kuroo's about to backpedal, he reaches over and brushes his bangs out of his eyes. "I'm not something fragile. I can handle it." 

He had paused a little, and Kuroo waits. Tsukishima isn't big on being straightforward, so he'd give him more time. "I'm... happy to hear that you want to protect me. But the same goes for me about you, too. I mean... that's what a relationship is about, right? Taking care of each other?"

Kuroo doesn't even register it when the professor finally dismisses them, so he's the last one out of the classroom. Still, his head is muddled with thoughts of Tsukishima, and that specific night. 

_That's what a relationship is about, right? Taking care of each other?_

Kuroo can't believe that he hasn't realized it sooner, can't believe Tsukishima cracked the code before he did. Their love had not been one-sided; why would he ever think that the same goes for the urge to nurture and protect? 

Sure, Tsukishima had tried to get his message across in a wrong way, and Kuroo had overreacted to having their signals crossed, but weren't their intentions pure in the end?

 _He only ever meant to take care of me_ , he thinks to himself, fixing his bag strap around his shoulder. Kuroo pulls his phone out of his pocket, stops in the middle of going down the stairs.

Seven months. That's a long time for them to be apart with no means of communication whatsoever. But seven months is also long enough for Kuroo to finally hash out what he wants to say to him.

_I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. There's so much I could have done better. If you would have me back..._

His breath hitches, and he pockets his phone. Quickly, before Kuroo forgets himself and starts crying in the middle of the university. 

_Fuck._   
_I want you back._   
_I want you back, so bad._

* * *

"Kanpai!" 

They all shout in unison as they clink their glasses, Akaashi an inch lower than Kuroo's and Bokuto's glasses. Frothy beers are the elders' weakness, and they link their arms and make a show of chugging before forcefully slamming the glasses down on their table. 

Bokuto yells in victory, giddy with the thought of a good night incoming. Kuroo groans in relief as he feels the alcohol go down his throat. Akaashi drinks his beer in moderation and just rolls his eyes, because he's the only mature person on the table beside the age difference.

"Shut up," Kuroo grumbles.

"I haven't said anything, Kuroo-san," Akaashi deadpans.

"Your mind, it's always... thinking," he counters, frowning as he orders two more beers for the table while Bokuto peruses the menu for something to eat. "Always so busy."

"No, not today," Akaashi replies, and his lips pull upward into a wistful, relaxed smile.

Kuroo stares. Bokuto yells his lungs out and nearly gets them kicked out of the restaurant.

"Hey?! Akaashi smiled?!?!? In public?!?!?"

"Akaashi smiled?!?! Wait, what do you mean, ' _in public_ '?!?!"

"Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san, please, lower your voices."

And that's what jumpstarts the conversation. 

Having been away for so long, and having Bokuto and Kuroo graduate ahead of Akaashi, their respective timetables and priorities have kept them apart longer. Bokuto is still closer to Akaashi, making it a point to go to every match of Fukurodani's team that he could afford in-between training with his own pro-league team, but even then they had this weird, restless kind of tension that Kuroo picked up on when they met.

But that all melts away as more drinks come, and Bokuto's multiple orders of grilled meat and stirfry seafood keep them on their toes. Akaashi makes them laugh as he steal the giant mollusk Bokuto's been eyeing for the last 30 seconds, and eats the contents with a straight face as his senpai whines. Kuroo challenges Bokuto once more, this time in an arm-wrestling match, and loses horribly.

"You damn EHOG," Kuroo grumbles as he leans back into his seat, grabbing the beer glass they were fighting over, loss be damned.

Akaashi snorts into his glass at the nickname. Bokuto stares at him, wide-eyed, making him look even more owlish than usual. "EHOG? What's that?"

"'Excitable Horned Owl Guy'," Kuroo explains, grinning and sloshing his beer over the table. "S'nickname. From Kei... Tsu-kei..." He can't even say his name. "F-From four-eyes in Karasuno."

Kuroo looks down against his half-empty beer glass. He doesn't notice Akaashi levelling him with a blank stare.

"Karasuno?" Bokuto laughs, obviously oblivious. "Ahhh, Tsukki, you mean! Man, I miss them! Especially Tsukki and Hinata! Last year's training camp with them was the most memorable! Akaashi, were they still invited by Coach Nekomata for this year's league practice?"

"They were." Kuroo hears Akaashi reply, but it's curt. He still doesn't lift his head. "Kou-"

"Have you been talking, by the way? You and Tsukki?" Bokuto asks, holding up a piece of grilled squid in between his chopsticks. "I haven't talked to him at all, ever since the start of the semester. Last time I sent him an invitation to go out drinking for New Year's, and he told me he isn't old enough for drinking yet --"

"Kouta-"

"I haven't," Kuroo hisses his reply through his teeth. His head is starting to hurt. "Haven't talked to him in seven months."

Akaashi sighs softly and retreats. Bokuto, dense as ever, leans closer, food forgotten. "Oya oya? What's this? Why seven months?"

"We broke up."

There's silence in the table, which was uncharacteristic, seeing who was seated around. A moment of quiet feels wrong in their presence, somehow. All of them want to break it, but they have no clue how.

Akaashi is motionless. Bokuto's mouth is wide open. 

Kuroo wants nothing else than to disappear. His alcohol-addled mind is too distracted, too emotional, and now it's flooded with the bittersweet memories of his high school graduation day.

"Wait... what?!" Bokuto yells, and Akaashi raises his hand to apologize nonverbally as the owner of the bar glares at them. "You and Tsukki?!"

Kuroo blinks, finally lifting his head. "Yeah...? Did.... did you not know?"

"No?!" Bokuto squeaks, too excited for words. "I didn't even...?! Bro?! How could you not tell me?!"

"I thought it was obvious! I told you I liked him, and asked you for help to get his number during camp, remember?!"

"I thought that was for the group chat!" 

"I even blew you off because I went to spend some time in Miyagi! With Tsukki! _Multiple times!_ " 

"I thought that was just some brodie-homie thing!" Bokuto frowns, then turns to his underclassmen. "Akaashi, did you know?!"

"Of course I did." Akaashi nods solemnly. "It was painfully obvious."

"How was that painfully obvious?!"

"It's fine," Kuroo cuts through, downing his beer and ordering two more for the table. "It doesn't matter now, anyway. We're over." As much as he's pained to say it, that was the cold, hard truth.

"How long did you date?"

"Nearly half a year," Kuroo mumbles. "Remember when he made a surprise visit to Tokyo? We got together then."

"Damn." Bokuto leans back, face blank, still obviously trying to process the information he just received. "And you haven't spoken to him for seven months. That's... gotta hurt." 

Kuroo winces.

"Was it that bad?" He asks, and Kuroo doesn't like how gentle his voice got. "I-I mean, if you don't want to talk about it, it's fine..."

"He blocked me," Kuroo replies, slumping over and resting his head on the table. "That's how bad it was."

"I'm... really sorry." 

Akaashi reaches over and pats Kuroo's back. "If it helps... Kou asked him to spend some time after the training camp with us, and he agreed."

"Man, if you were still together, we could have made it a double date," Bokuto says, scratching the back of his head.

Kuroo stills and looks up at them both. "What?"

Akaashi's face is slowly turning red, and he doesn't meet Kuroo's eyes. Bokuto keeps talking. "Well, it would have been more fun that way. I was thinking of going up to the Sky Tree, you know?" 

"Hang on-"

"Bokuto and I are dating," Akaashi says it out loud, then buries his face in his hands.

It's Kuroo's turn to gape when Bokuto suddenly whispers (loudly) to Akaashi. "O-Oy! Are we...?"

"Kou, you literally just said --"

"C-Congratulations?!" Kuroo squeaks, and both Fukurodani boys turn to him, surprised and embarrassed. Their cheeks were red but Kuroo is smiling, truly happy for his friends. "I'm just... holy shit, this is... unexpected?! But I'm happy for you! When did this happen?"

"...last year," Akaashi replies. "After we lost in the Spring Tournament."

Kuroo is still looking for words to say when he sees Akaashi turn to face his lover. He makes a little nod, and Bokuto emits a high-pitched whine before throwing himself onto him, arms latching around his torso and face burying into the crook of Akaashi's neck.

"Haven't seen you in forever," Bokuto groans. "When you told me I couldn't hold you tonight, I felt like I might die. You're right beside me-"

"I didn't know if Kuroo-san would be okay with it," Akaashi mumbles. Maybe it's the alcohol -- scratch that, by the looks of their red faces, it's _definitely_ the alcohol -- but Akaashi is different, and he smiles more as he pets Bokuto's hair gently.

It's so sickeningly lovey-dovey, but Kuroo is happy for the couple all the same.

"What do you mean?" Kuroo finally squeaks as the weight of Akaashi's sentence finally sank in. "You two are my friends, and if you love each other, then --"

"Oh, no, no, it's not that!" Bokuto straightens but keeps one arm around Akaashi's waist. "We just thought, well, we'd find a right time to tell you, is all."

"We have no doubts about you accepting us or not," Akaashi adds, a smile on his face.

"Good that we cleared that up." Kuroo grins and makes a toast, which the others quickly followed. "So you're both out?"

"Only to certain friends," Akaashi says. "Most of the Fukurodani team know. And I'm more out than Kou."

"Why's that?" 

"My stupid career," Bokuto grumbles.

Kuroo grimaces and nods. No matter the changing of the times, being in a homosexual relationship is still frowned upon and considered scandalous. Bokuto's career as a volleyball player in the pro leagues could be jeopardized right from the get-go, no matter how good he is. A sad, sad truth in the world we live in. 

Akaashi shakes his head. "He wants to come out."

"Of course I do!" Bokuto scoffs, nuzzling against Akaashi's shoulder. "All of the interviews I get, honestly... 'inspiration' this, 'rumor' that... I once got connected to a woman I helped with her groceries."

"Oh, I remember that," Kuroo quips.

"But I love Akaashi," Bokuto says proudly, puffing his chest. "I love him with all my heart. And I want the world to know that I'm his, and he's mine, and he's what keeps me going on and off the court. I see Akaashi suffer; he doesn't say anything, but anytime there's a rumor going around about me, I come home to messages from him. How he's sad and not in the mood for anything. I know him. And I want the world to know who he is, especially to me."

"Well, why not?" Kuroo shrugs and looks at Akaashi, who is now tracing the rim of his beer glass with his thumb. "This is Tokyo, you know. Home turf and all. At least you'd be better-received here, rather than in Miyagi, for example."

"I know that." There's a somber, crestfallen look on Akaashi's face, and the words that he utters are soft and unsteady. "It's just that... when things go sideways in his career when he comes out, and I _know_ that it will, I don't want to be the cause of his downfall. I don't want to be the reason why he'd be passed up or dropped. Not when he can play so much more."

"If that happens, then so be it! I would never blame you," Bokuto says, holding Akaashi's hand. Kuroo realizes, from both their reactions and words, that this is a conversation they've had many times over. " _Never_ , Keiji."

Akaashi shakes his head. "I know, but this is your future, Kou. I just want you to have the best there is."

 _The future._ Those words make Kuroo's ears ring, a sound of white noise that engulfs him for a full minute. In front of him, he sees Akaashi and Bokuto still talk, their gestures gentle and loving. Their mouths move when they talk, hands and fingers fiddling with anything and everything.

They both show their love openly with each other; they just have different ways of going about it. Bokuto likes to wear his heart on his sleeve, and Akaashi would rather only say something when it's deemed important, or when the pros outweigh the cons. On a deep level, they are perfect for each other, and their only point of contention is society.

Unbidden, the thought of Tsukishima comes into mind. Akaashi's words remind Kuroo of him -- how he thinks this is what's best for him, no matter what he feels or thinks. Both Akaashi and Tsukishima have this sense of worldliness that perhaps Kuroo and Bokuto lack, and this hyperawareness of the community and the society at large influences their way of thinking. 

Tsukishima had only ever wanted the best for Kuroo. And he had pushed it, even with him looking like a bad guy or an overbearing partner. In the end, Kuroo regrets his indecision, his procrastination in things that truly mattered. Had he listened, had he not reacted poorly, perhaps things would have gone a lot smoother between them.

Perhaps Tsukishima would still be with him, sitting beside him in this tiny booth, smiling and drinking with them. Perhaps he'd be able to kiss him again, and hold his hand. Perhaps he wouldn't have a hole in his chest because he would still be by his side.

Before he knew it, Kuroo felt tears streaming down his face. Akaashi notices before Kuroo could hurriedly wipe them away and hide it, and he stops Bokuto from speaking. 

"You miss him, don't you?" He asks.

Kuroo could only nod. "You remind me of him," he says, voice wavering from emotion. "He talked about my future too. And I messed up, real badly, and I don't think I can ever make it up to him..."

"Maybe it's not too late," Bokuto explains. There's this weird expression on his face, and Akaashi's confused for a full five seconds before he gets it. They both get their phones out and start typing, searching for whatever information they could find.

"Aha!" Bokuto shouts triumphantly, then shows his screen to Kuroo. "Last shinkansen to Sendai is in half an hour."

"You could run and be at the station in fifteen minutes," Akaashi explains, showing him the map.

Kuroo stares at their phones, at their determined expressions. "Are you suggesting I honest-to-God go to Miyagi?"

"Yes!" They both shout in unison.

"Kuroo, bro," Bokuto says earnestly. "This is your chance. Are you going to pass this up?"

He stares back, his answer already out before he even fully thinks of it. "No, of course not."

"Then get out of here. Go get Tsukki back."

Akaashi nods in encouragement. He doesn't need to be told twice.

Kuroo only pulls out some bills to contribute for the drinks before he's out the door. Legs pumping and breath coming out in huffs, he runs in the direction of the Tokyo station.

* * *

  
《 _We've experienced a slight delay in our departure time due to technical difficulties. We apologize for the inconvenience._ 》

Kuroo had never been so thankful of a system error. Because of unexpectedly heavy foot traffic in the roads he took, he arrives at the station with only 5 minutes left to spare. He all but vault-jumps the turnstiles to the platform after the teller gives him his tickets, and he's afraid he's missed his train when he sees the doors are still open.

He runs in and breathes deeply, then slumps against his seat as the train finally ploughs on.

《 _The Tohoku Shinkansen to Sendai has left Tokyo Station. 》_

Once Kuroo's breath evens out, he's hit with a wave of nausea, the kind that roils in the stomach. 

He's done it now. He's on a one-way train to Miyagi late in the evenings on a weeknight, because he wants to talk to his ex. The whole thing reads like a set-up to a horrible joke.

He feels his heart in his throat and he has the urge to curl his toes just to feel something and get rid of the sudden build-up of energy. Is this how Tsukishima must have felt when he impulsively jumped on a shinkansen to Tokyo with no invitation whatsoever? _God, this is sickening._ It's a terrifying feeling, and with Kuroo being hurtled through the urban landscape and the gorgeous Japanese countryside on a train going over 100 kilometers per hour, it is all-encompassing and suffocating.

Faintly, he realizes he doesn't have anything with him -- just his day bag, with his wallet, cards, keys to his apartment. No extra change of clothes, nothing. Even if he isn't taken in by Tsukishima, he figures he can ask one of the other Karasuno boys for help, since it's the last train to and from, and all.

Kuroo hears a faint beep from his phone and sees the notifications for LINE.

》 **GROUP: Operation: Get Tsukki Back!!!** 《 

》 **TetsuLoverBoy** : what the hell guys  
》 **Kou #1 Fan** : _sent a photo_  
》 **Kou #1 Fan:** WE ROOTING FOR U!! 🎉🎉🎉  
》 **Keiji, Also #1 Fan** : Why is my name still the longest one?  
》 **Keiji, Also #1 Fan:** 😩  
》 **Kou #1 Fan** : OYA? 👁 AN EMOJI? AKAASHIIIIII  
》 **TetsuLoverBoy** : arent you sitting beside each other? talk normally omg

He watches them bicker in the groupchat with a smile on his face, checks the photo they've sent of them with their arms around each other, then gets an idea. Kuroo has to breathe deeply, trying to swallow his pride and tamp down his fear of rejection. He pulls up a name, someone he hadn't messaged in a long, long time, then types up a text.

》 **To** : Yama-Homie  
》 **From** : Kuroo-san  
》 **Subject** : Hey.  
》 **Message** : I know it's been a while, Yamaguchi. I... I'm messaging because I want to ask a favor. I want to talk to Kei. No, I need to. But I'm gonna need your help. You have every reason to hate me, but I'm on the shinkansen right now and I'll be in Miyagi in an hour. Please, Yamaguchi. I need to try to make things right.

He presses his phone to his forehead, willing for the text to go through, and it does. Yamaguchi hadn't blocked him, and he feels a sigh of relief.

Two minutes pass. Then five. Ten. Twenty. And it's a full half-hour when it finally sinks in that Kuroo might be in big, big trouble, because Yamaguchi isn't replying.

He wants to cry. He feels the tears stinging in his eyes and he feels the rejection weighing down on his chest and shoulders. He hates this, but he hates not having Tsukishima in his life more.

He's got to do something, at least.

《 _The Tohoku Shinkansen has arrived in Sendai station. Passengers may alight when the doors open to your right. Thank you for your patronage to JR East._ 》 

Kuroo stands by the doors, waiting for them to open, and he sees his reflection on the glass. He's an absolute mess -- his hair's sticking up more than usual, in every which way, because of the countless times he's run his fingers through them. The rims of his eyes look red. His gait is unsteady and his clothes are dishevelled. 

_Way to give off a good first impression after seven months_ , he thinks as he desperately tries to fix his attire.

When the doors slide open, Kuroo just steps out and breathes in the cool, evening air to ground himself and sober up even a little. "The air in Miyagi really is different from Tokyo," he mumbles.

Then he hears it. The sound of footsteps. Kuroo turns to see Yamaguchi walking over to him. His hair is longer, and he's wearing jeans and a hoodie, likely having gone straight to the station when he texted.

Kuroo smiles in relief, stepping forward. "Yamaguchi! I'm so sorry to trouble you, I need to thank you --"

But Yamaguchi doesn't stop. He keeps walking toward him. And that's when Kuroo sees the murderous look on his face.

"Yama--?"

 _Smack_!

It happens fast, and is over before Kuroo even processes that it's going to happen. He sees Yamaguchi's hand in the air, feels the stinging pain on his cheek as the man slaps him.

" _That_ ," Yamaguchi growls, breathing heavily, "was for hurting Tsukki."

Kuroo is speechless, poking his tender cheek and wincing at the pain. "Okay, I deserve that," he mumbles.

"I told you not to hurt him," he hisses. It must have looked comical -- a sophomore high school student shorter than Kuroo crowding him back like the absolute badass. "You _promised_ me." 

"I know." Kuroo's stare drops to his shoes, scuffling with his nerves. "I'm here to make things right. I’m sorry.” 

  
There’s a quiet moment between them, charged with tension. Kuroo wouldn’t be surprised if Yamaguchi grabbed him by the collae and sent him back on the train, or if he punched him in the face. He fully expects Yamaguchi to cuss him out and spit on his face.

Instead, he sighs, the fight leaving his body and making his shoulders slump. "It's not me you have to apologize to."

And he points, over his shoulder, to a figure seated on the bench. Kuroo's twenty feet away, and the seated man has longer hair and wider shoulders, but he knows.

But he's still not prepared. So when Tsukishima finally turns his head, Kuroo feels his heart stop.

* * *

They've been sitting beside each other on the same bench for the last five minutes, the quiet unsettling and awkward. Tsukishima's been fiddling with the metal tab of the can of iced coffee he's bought from the vending machine for the last three minutes. 

He doesn't know what he should say. He doesn't know why Kuroo's here. Well, that's not entirely true. Yamaguchi called him in the evening, asking if he was free. His parents were out, Akiteru was more than happy to drive them to the station.

"It's... it's Kuroo," Yamaguchi had said softly over the phone.

Tsukishima couldn't help the sharp intake of breath he made. Hearing his name after seven months of trying to forget made him feel like a bucket of ice-cold water's been upended over his head.

"Yamaguchi, no."

"I'm sorry, Tsukki, but I think you need to talk. You need closure."

"I don't _need_ anything," he had hissed. "Especially not from him. He's from a past life."

"Tsukki..."

"Yamaguchi, I can't," he had whispered, and he hated how weak he sounded. "It's been seven months." He doesn't say that the memory and the wounds of that day are still fresh. He doesn't mention how it took him a week to stop crying, a month to regain his already-too-small appetite. He doesn't mention how he's been scared to love ever since. 

But for Yamaguchi, he doesn't need to. "You're right. It's been seven months, Tsukki. But can you honestly tell me there's nothing left in your heart for him?"

Tsukishima breaks the tab off the can as he jerks violently to the memory of Yamaguchi asking him that. They both stare as the piece of metal clicks off the can, and makes a perfect nosedive into the coffee.

"Ah," the blonde deadpans. 

"I'll get you another one," Kuroo says, and stands up before Tsukishima protests to go to the vending machine.

He comes back with two cans -- one black, and one pink -- then gives the second one to Tsukki. "Strawberry latte, half-sugar, right?"

 _He remembers,_ Tsukishima thinks, as he nods and takes the coffee. Kuroo sits back down and opens his own can of iced coffee. "You didn't have to."

"It's the least I could do," he replies, taking a swig and leaning back against the bench. 

Another quiet moment, but this time it's less awkward. Tsukishima drinks from his can. From the corner of his eye, he checks Kuroo out. He's grown more mature and subdued, his hair's a mess, but he's still looking physically fit. There are bags under his red-rimmed eyes, and he's only wearing a black shirt and a maroon jacket over dark denim pants, but he looked as good as ever. Well, more tired, sure. And there was something else, too.

He blurts out the first thing in his mind, right when Kuroo throws his head back for a drink. "You reek."

That sends the dark-haired man coughing, slumping over and beating his chest with his fist to clear his airways. There's tears in his eyes and coffee dribbling from his nose and mouth. "Oy! Give a little warning next time you take the piss on me! Shit, it went into my nose..." 

Tsukishima scoffs. "Don't blame me, you're the one who doesn't know how to drink something."

"So mean!"

"Seriously though, you stink. Don't tell me you're a bum in the streets?"

"I'll have you know I'm a university student," Kuroo grumbles. 

"University, huh." Tsukishima gives him a condescending smirk. "Didn't know you could even get in."

"I did!" He huffs. "I've just been out drinking with Bokuto and Akaashi."

"Ah," he blinks. "That's why."

"That's why what?"

In response, Tsukishima pulls out his phone and shows him the pictures that Bokuto sent him. It's of them drinking, and chugging, and eating and making silly faces. 

》 **EHOG (Bokuto):** Tsukkiiiii! Come 2 Tokyooo, let's get waszszsteddszszs 🍻🍻🍻

"Asshole," Kuroo grumbles, laughing.

Tsukishima hums and pockets the phone. "He's still sending pictures. Apparently he and Akaashi went to a karaoke bar ten minutes ago."

"They what?! Those motherfucks..."

"Judging from your reaction, I'm guessing you're not informed." Tsukishima frowns. 

Kuroo sighs and scratches the back of his head, making his hair stick up. "Well, yeah. I bailed on them."

"Oh?" Tsukishima hums, swirling his drink in the can. "Were they too rowdy?"

"No," Kuroo laugha faintly. "No, I just realized I liked someone else's company."

The retort that Tsukishima had dies in his throat when he turns his head to see Kuroo staring at him, eyes soft and twinkling. There's a small smile on his face, sad around the edges, and his hair's falling on his face. 

Tsukishima thinks he's beautiful.

"What is it?" He asks.

Kuroo shakes his head. "Nothing, it's just... it's good to see you again. Your hair, it... it suits you."

"...thank you," Tsukishima replies, because what else is he supposed to say? "You look okay, too."

"Ha! I've been better," he mumbles, leaning his head back. "Tsukki..."

"If you're here to apologize, don't." Tsukishima grips the can tightly, enough for the metal to crinkle under his hands. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Of course I did," Kuroo whispers. "How can you tell me not to apologize when I'm the one who hurt you?"

"I'm the one who overstepped my boundaries," he says. "I'm the one who expected and demanded too much. It's entirely my fault."

He feels his chest tighten. This is closure. It hurts, but he knows that the pain will dull after they're over talking. Tsukishima ignores the twinge of hurt he feels thinking that this will be the last time they will talk. 

"I'm the one who pushed you away," Kuroo says, voice hardening. "I'm the one who misunderstood. You were only trying to look out for me."

"Kuroo-san--"

But Kuroo doesn't listen. Instead he falls to the floor, on his knees. Tsukishima sees him get ready to prostrate, and he holds him up by the shoulders to stop him from bowing. 

"Don't," Tsukishima hisses.

Kuroo shakes his head, hands around Tsukishima's wrists, trying to pry him off. "Tsukki, please --"

"Don't," Tsukishima repeats himself, but Kuroo is close, much too close. He could feel his heat, smell his breath and cologne and sweat.

They struggle for a few minutes before Kuroo finally gives up. He surrenders, shoulders sagging, and he slumps forward. He rests his forehead on Tsukishima's shoulder, and he stiffens, wondering if he feels his racing heartbeat in his chest.

Kuroo's hands are still rubbing light circles on Tsukishima's wrists. He doesn't hate the feeling, so he doesn't push him away. The older man murmurs apologies into the fabric of his clothes, muffled between the layers, and he just stays still, holding his weight up.

Tsukishima shifts a little to support them better, and Kuroo sees the slip in the facade. Before the blonde could hide it, he holds onto his wrist, pulls back the sleeve of his brown sweatshirt to reveal bruises, mottling and in different levels of recovery. 

"They're from practice," Tsukishima explains. He doesn't even know why he feels the need to explain them to him.

"You haven't been applying the hot and cold compresses," Kuroo mumbles, tracing the bruises lightly so as not to hurt him. "I keep telling you to."

"I don't have time. I practice with my brother's college team on off-days and I do an hour of self-practice when I get home."

"Tsukki, that's too much!" Kuroo chastises him. 

"Is it?" He asks, but his voice is empty. He knows it's too much. Yamaguchi has told him. Kageyama and Hinata had even talked to him about over-practicing, and if those two idiots say he's overdoing it, then he's definitely doing something wrong. 

But if he doesn't, his mind wanders off to Kuroo in Tokyo, to Kuroo hating him, to Kuroo saying the thought of him in his future looked like a pain in the ass. He dives into volleyball to forget, and every hit of the ball takes him one step away from depressing thoughts.

Kuroo shakes his head as if he knows what he's doing. Does he? "You remember that night I visited? When I told you I wish I could always protect you?"

Of course he remembers. Tsukishima's replayed the times they've spent in each other's company countless times in his head. Mutely, he nods.

"Well, the thought still stands," Kuroo says, looking into his eyes. "I don't care in what way, I just want to know if you'll have me. No matter what it is, I'll protect you. I promise to keep you from harm."

Tsukishima bites his lip, hard. He doesn't know why this is so hard. He doesn't understand why it has to be this way.

He has no explanation why he already has an answer ready at the tip of his tongue.

* * *

It's midnight when they finally emerge from the Sendai station. They've been kicked out by the station manager for loitering, and they make their way to the parking lot, where a lone running car with the windows cracked is.

Yamaguchi gets out of Akiteru's car, eyes wide and the settling fatigue shaken off from his face. "Well?" He asks, because Tsukishimand Kuroo are silent. They're not awkward and stiff, but they're definitely walking an arm's length from each other.

"We're not... that is, we're... we're taking things slow," Tsukishima starts to say after exchanging a glance with the man beside him. Before he can continue, Akiteru comes out of the car.

"Kei, ready to go?" He asks, but he stops short when he sees another man with him. "Who's this?" 

Kuroo feels a twinge of pain in his chest when he says his next words, but it's for the best. Kuroo has a chance with Tsukki to make things right, and he'll gladly take it.

Even if it means going back to square one.

"I'm Kuroo Tetsurou, former volleyball captain of Nekoma High. I'm a... a friend of Kei."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS 1:
> 
> "They seem close," Akiteru says off-handedly.
> 
> Yamaguchi nearly jumps out of his skin as he turns around. "Ah... yes."
> 
> He follows Akiteru's eyes and goes back to looking at Keicand Kuroo in the living room. They speak in murmurs as Kuroo alternates a cold pack and a hot pack on Kei's arms. They'd often talk in a playful banter, egging each other on, until one or the other falls short and they change topics to diffuse the tension.
> 
> The awkwardness is palpable even to the stairs landing where Yamaguchi and Akiteru observe them.
> 
> "Did something happen between them?" Akiteru asks once more.
> 
> No matter how innocently phrased that was, Yamaguchi realizes it's a loaded question. He looks up and sees the older Tsukishima brother with nothing but understanding in his eyes. At that moment, he knew that Akiteru knew.
> 
> But he knew better than to say anything. It wasn't his place. This is a conversation to be held between two brothers. No matter how much the Tsukishimas already consider him a part of their family, he knows that these issues have a different weight.
> 
> So he smiles weakly, and both answers and evades the question. "You could say that."  
> \----  
> BONUS 2:
> 
> "Do you think we did the right thing?" Akaashi asks out of the blue. 
> 
> They've been sitting in a park bench for the better half of an hour, quickly stumbling down from their drunken high. The younger man is leaned against Bokuto's shoulders, cheeks red and eyes heavy from exhaustion.
> 
> Bokuto checks his phone, though his eyesight is bleary. He still has enough sense in him to go check the messages that he's received from his friends and contacts in other teams.
> 
> 》HINATA!!! (KRSN): Do you think it has something to do with Kuroo-san? When I talk about him, I see Tsukishima tense up and his serves and blocks start getting weird!  
> 》 Lev 🇷🇺 (NKM): Kenma-san's the only one who visited during training camp! He says Kuroo-san bailed at the last minute.  
> 》 Kodzuken 🐱: You're going out tonight with Kuroo? Tell him to man up and do it already, or I'll cut his balls off. He'll know what it means. 
> 
> "I think we did," Bokuto assures him. He wraps his arm around Akaashi and kisses his forehead. They snuggle a bit and stay like that in the dark, happy and hopeful.


	4. The Shinkansen has arrived.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're both still into each other," Yamaguchi had said. "Why don't you just take the leap?"
> 
> "I took that leap," Tsukishima replied simply. "And look where it got me."
> 
> "You were both young back then. Inexperienced. Especially you. But now you're more mature. And you still feel the same for each other all this time. I don't know, Tsukki. Call me optimistic, but I'd like to think it will work better this time around."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 》 USER REFERENCES:  
> \- Bobo-Boy = a play on a character of the same name. In Filipino, "bobo" means stupid or idiot. Bokuto is my lovable himbo 😳  
> \- Kashi-nut = cashew nut  
> \- Tsu-Tsu-Train = Tsukishima made a bad joke about Mark Twain's song being named "Choo Choo", and Kuroo never let him live it down  
> \- Kero-Kero = a phrase said by Keroro, protagonist of an anime series called "Keroro Gunso" or Sergeant Frog.
> 
> \---
> 
> PRO TIP: Listen to "Kimi to Haru" by Chippoke Ohashi, which is what Tsukki is listening to this whole chapter. I hope you get the chance to relate it to Tsukki and Kuroo's journey ❤
> 
> Link: https://open.spotify.com/track/5pyVXyCgZTdpXTVuPGJGk9?si=KjzMcD6xSvGXMT8ysLlVvQ

* * *

《 _The Tohoku shinkansen bound for Tokyo has left Sendai station._ 》

Tsukishima Kei puts his headphones on and scrolls through his music app to find the perfect playlist. He waves through the window to nobody in particular as Miyagi peters out into the open countryside, as if saying goodbye to the prefecture he knows like the back of his hand, the place he's called home since birth.

He usually travels with an upbeat song to psych himself up for another adventure, but this particular goodbye is bittersweet. His parents and brother have all sent him off from the station, promising a quick visit as soon as he's settled into his new home. Yamaguchi's goodbye was particularly... _wet_ , and _loud_ , and he promises to communicate as often as he could as he snivels into Tsukishima's shoulder. Even Yachi, who Yamaguchi had started dating by the start of their third year in high school, joins them for his send-off, and hugs him tightly. Needless to say, there were no dry eyes by the time the shinkansen finally pulls away from the station.

There's an aching in his chest when the thought of him moving semi-permanently away from home finally settles in his chest. He only graduated high school a month ago, and had visited Tokyo with his family to finalize his admission process into one of the top universities in the country. He's also signed onto a major contract with a pro league team situated in the capital, whose agents had been hounding him and recruiting him ever since Karasuno's third consecutive entrance in the Spring Nationals tournament. 

Tsukishima might be a university freshman, but because of his pro league contract, as well as his significant tuition fee discount for being an athlete, he's able to afford living in an apartment in Tokyo instead of the usual university-issued accomodation at a student dormitory mandatory for first years. Still, he's chosen a different direction altogether, throwing caution to the wind and finally taking up his senpai's offer of moving into a massive flat. Bokuto had been pestering him to since he'd let slip that he's eyeing the same university as Akaashi had entered upon his graduation, and since they've finally taken the sensible option for any couple to co-habilitate in an expensive city, well, logic just follows.

Tsukishima's crunched the numbers, decides it doesn't hurt for him to take up their offer and room with them. Especially if they're four peoole in the flat, the last man to complete the group being Kuroo.

"Ah." He finally lands on a song, smiling fondly. This one is perfect, and he makes sure it's on repeat for the whole train ride to Tokyo.

》 _Now Playing: Kimi to Haru (君と春 ) - Ohashi Chippoke (大橋ちっぽけ)_ 《

Tsukishima closes his eyes as he lets the music wash over him, the clever string-plucking of the guitar and the singer's soft voice hitting him with an overwhelming wave of nostalgia, making him feel like he misses a time when everything else was so, so simple.

_**じゃあね 君 に 手 を 振った こと** _

_"See ya", and I waved at you_

_**まだ 色 鮮やか に** _

_It still remains vividly_

_**心 に 残って 歌 に なって いく** _

_In my heart and becomes a song_

_**そう あの 日 も こんな 桜 色 だね** _

_Yes, on that day, it was the color of cherry-blossoms like this_

_'Kimi to Haru.' Spring with you_. All the planets and stars above must have aligned in the universe today, because Tsukishima feels invincible. Everything is going swimmingly, and the music he chose makes him fully express what he truly feels inside.

His smile only turns ever wider when he gets new notifications on LINE.

 **》 GROUP: House Party, T-5 Days 🎉**  
**》Bobo-Boy:** yoooooo Tsukkiiii  
**》Bobo-Boy:** @Tsukishima Kei  
》 **Tsu-Tsu-Train:** Yes?  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** when's ur train comin?  
》 **Tsu-Tsu-Train:** It'll arrive in an hour and a half. Still a long way to go.  
》 **Bobo-Boy** : pshhhhhh that's in no time@@  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** !!*  
》 **Kashi-Nut:** Bokuto-san, at least type properly.  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** (╥﹏╥) so mean;;;;  
》 **Tsu-Tsu-Train:** Ah, there are the kaomojis.   
》 **Kashi-Nut:** Fuck.  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** ( : ౦ ‸ ౦ : )  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** Akaashi!!!!!!!  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** I cannot belIEVE you would sWEAR IN FRONT OF THE BABY  
》 **Tsu-Tsu-Train** : What baby?  
》 **Bobo-Boy:** ME! _I'M_ THE BABY!  
》 **Kero-Kero:** _sent a photo_  
》 **Kero-Kero** : finally acknowledging it, huh ☝️☝️☝️

Tsukishima opens the photo and laughs a little to himself. It's a picture of Kuroo taking a selfie in front of Akaashi, who waa cradling Bokuto bawling his eyes out after losing to his boyfriend in a game of Mario Kart two weeks ago.

Without thinking, he finds himself staring at Kuroo's profile photo on LINE. He has the dorkiest smile possible as he poses beside a Gudetama mascot that had a light dusting of snow on its head. It makes his heart flutter in his chest, honestly, and he'd be lying if he said he isn't purposefully avoiding looking at his reflection on the train window. He's sure his cheeks are pink.

Tsukishima shakes his head and focuses on the scenery outside, reminiscing.

It's been a little over two years since he had rekindled his friendship with Kuroo. A drunken, impulse decision for him to go to Miyagi in the dead of night had changed everything. Tsukishima had been ready to let the wounds of his first love leaving and his first relationship failing leave scars on his heart for him to live with for the rest of his life. He'd entertained being single and not entering into official relationships until he became ready, no matter how long it takes.

But the sight of Kuroo pleading, the memory of Kuroo asking to be in his life no matter what changed that. The man had been nothing but respectful with the boundaries Kei set, even when he had only asked to be friends, and had gone back to Tokyo with the promise of keeping in touch. Their hug at the station took just a second too long to be entirely friendly, and they both had leaned in on instinct for a kiss before catching themselves at the last minute and turning away.

Tsukishima would be lying if he said his chest hadn't been thundering the whole time as he watched the shinkansen pull away. (Yamaguchi had been present to witness the whole exchange, and would not let Tsukishima live it down for another five weeks.)

Truth is, Tsukishima had second thoughts on this whole arrangement between Kuroo. Because he's realized, almost immediately, that he was still madly in love with him.

Every message and every quip that the older man throws out, he's used to meeting with fire, and sometimes Tsukishima has to catch himself before he says something completely not-friendly and entirely flirty. Tsukishima had been the one to draw the line that they would be toeing. He should at least reinforce that by staying safely on one side.

Except his heart yearned; he couldn't really help it. Kuroo had agreed to at least keep it just an online friendship, what with his busy schedule and the logistics with regards to transportation, and Tsukishima had thought that things would be easier this way. No physical distractions, no chances of them falling back into the same old routine. Having Kuroo physically nearby reminded him too much of their shared past, their evenings together, their most intimate moments. It made it awkward, no doubt, but after a few days, they've settled, and things seemed like they were back to normal.

_**僕ら の 友情 も 時間 に 流され** _

_Our friendship is washed away in time_

_**もう ほどけて しまった の かな** _

_Did our tie come apart?_

That didn't mean he's supposed to like it.

For months on end, he'd find himself staring at the ticket prices to the shinkansen to Tokyo, noting the price hikes during winter break. In December, Akiteru had gifted the whole family with a three-night stay at a hotel in Kawaguchiko, and Kei's heart thundered in his chest as they changed trains in Tokyo, vaguely wondering if he would be able to see Kuroo somewhere in the metropolis, no matter how small that chance would be. And when he didn't, the disappointment in his face was obvious enough for Akiteru to take notice.

_**会いたい よ この 街 を 飛び 出して** _

_Want to meet you jumping out of this town_

_**満開 の 桜 を 潜り 抜け** _

_passing through cherry blossoms in full bloom_

He knew he shouldn't be thinking like this, and that he couldn't take any action for fear of being seen as hypocritical. The wound was still fresh for Tsukishima, bone-deep and traumatizing, but he could see that it didn't affect just him. Still, the feelings remained, thrumming under his skin like the blood in his veins, bringing life to each and every part of his body.

It's particularly evident when it came to things they both loved, especially volleyball. Tsukishima could see that the guy still loved the sport by the way he asked how the Inter-High Tournament went. And when Karasuno would have a match on that day, Tsukishima would wake up to a good luck text from Kuroo.

"Win for me," he'd say.

Tsukishima would always ask him what he means, and Kuroo would always explain it away about him teaching him to block properly. 

But Tsukishima knows. They _both_ know what he really means. And Tsukishima would rise through the ranks, along with the Little Giant of Karasuno, the Genius Setter, and the Devastating Pinch-Server, as one of the best and recognizable middle blockers of the current generation of high school volleyball athletes. Every victory that Karasuno cinched bracket after bracket just became additional wind beneath their wings, which bolstered their confidence and energy.

But to say that Tsukishima doesn't try for Kuroo's sake would be a bold-faced lie.

_**歌いたい よ 君 を 思った なら** _

_Want to sing when I think of you_

_**大概 の こと なら できる 気 が した** _

_Feeling like I can do almost anything_

They've only met once, purely on accident, during the Fukurodani Group of Schools' training camp in Tokyo. Because of the widespread fame of the Battle of the Garbage Dump against Nekoma in their first year, Karasuno had received an annual invitation to the prestigious league, and each time they've accepted. With only the third-years left out of the generation and a lot of young blood between them, most of the old-timers stuck to themselves especially during self-practice.

Tsukishima would often haunt Gym 3 of his own volition until midnight, practicing spikes and blocks with the likes of Lev from Nekoma, who seemed to grow ever taller with each passing year, and the endlessly energetic Hinata and Kageyama, who had only become more annoyingly in-sync in court after finally, officially getting together. Yamaguchi would stay and practice no-touch service aces, having perfected his jump floater technique by his second year. 

On their last night in the camp, they had decided to have a two-on-two match, with Yamaguchi keeping score in the sidelines. Hinata had flown across the court and prepared to do a super tight cross hit that would have made Tanaka proud were he there to witness it.

Tsukishima had timed it properly, prepared to block, but he saw himself slow down, and he had thought he'd rather have a one-touch than the ball falling to the floor, when he felt another body slam against his side and reinforce his block.

He had landed on his feet a little unsteadily, and he vaguely heard Hinata's loud groan of frustration as the ball lands on his side of the court, but Tsukishima had been too distracted with the man in front of him, black hair sticking up and red jacket around his shoulders recognizable.

" _Hoo_ , still a zippy little bugger, huh?" Kuroo had said, looking down at his palm, which was red from the impact, smiling like he missed the feeling. Then he turned to Tsukishima, and he swore he felt his stomach do somersaults before diving straight to the ground as he smiled. "Sorry about that. You alright?"

Tsukishima had then seen Kenma, long-haired and in athletic leisurewear, with Bokuto and Akaashi, the Fukurodani boys both in training gear and noticeably holding hands, appear behind Kuroo. And although he fought his way out of a tongue-tied greeting, and everyone laughed at his 'gracelessness', he was stunned for the most part, especially at the fact that Kuroo was actually there in the flesh, smiling at him fondly, dark eyes twinkling.

Turns out, the alumni had decided to visit for a friendly rivalry game for old times' sake. It quickly turned into a nearly-full match, with Tsukishima, Kuroo, Kenma, and Yamaguchi on one team, and Bokuto, Akaashi, Hinata and Kageyama on the other, and Lev on the scoreboard. Three sets in with the deuces keeping the game longer finds them all sweaty and panting on the court, exhausted beyond belief but not one of them wanting to throw the game even for a single point. When Coach Nekomata had found out, he put a stop to it immediately, ordering them to go to bed or risk extra practice the next day.

"Still got it, huh?" Tsukishima couldn't help himself from talking to Kuroo. The man had sweat all over his body, and his t-shirt was sticking to his skin. The third-year deftly turned away so he wouldn't find himself staring at the bead of sweat traveling down the back of Kuroo's neck. 

"What can I say, I'm just naturally good," he fired back, chuckling. "Maybe I should consider going pro, if it isn't too late."

"I'm thinking about it, too."

"Really, now?" He smiled widely and punched him good-naturedly on the shoulder. "Tsukki, that's great! And to think you told me that you only saw volleyball as a club thing."

"Yeah, well." He looked away, a ghost of a smile on his face. "Someone taught me how to love it." 

They were quiet for a while, the both of them just sitting on a bench outside the gym as the others wrapped up their cool-down routines. At some point, Tsukishima glanced to his side only to see Kuroo staring back. 

There were no words spoken between them, but they leaned in at the same time, closing the distance between their lips, their first kiss in a long while. 

_**浮かんで 消えて いく 思い** _

_The thoughts that come and go_

_**言葉 には ならない** _  
  
_I can't put them in words_

The kiss wasn't hurried, nor desperate; instead, it was slow, tentative, careful. Kuroo's hand had gotten lost in his hair at some point, and Tsukishima followed his lead, tilting his head to the side. They explored and reminisced, feeling everything they remembered and noting the differences. Kuroo tasted darker, with all the coffee he had been taking, and Tsukishima tasted light and sweet as always with a hint of spice that Kuroo couldn't name. 

When they leaned back for air, they both shared a small sigh, breaths mingling. Tsukishima thought he heard Kuroo whisper "I've missed you" under his breath, and he saw him lean in for another kiss but ultimately break away when they heard footsteps approaching.

Tsukishima had gone back to Miyagi with the team, sleep-deprived and definitely distracted, because he wanted to say that he missed Kuroo just as much if not twice as bad.

Yamaguchi, ever-perceptive, had guessed what happened when he finally confronted Tsukki about his odd behavior post-training camp.

"You're both still into each other," he had said, waving his fork at him during lunch break. "Why don't you just take the leap?"

"I took that leap," Tsukishima replied simply, picking up a sour plum from his bento before placing it in a corner, never to be touched or eaten. "And look where it got me."

"You were both young back then. Inexperienced. Especially you."

"And I'm still in high school."

"But we're graduating in a bit. And you're more mature," Yamaguchi supplied, stealing the umeboshi plum from Tsukishima's bento box. "Plus you still feel the same for each other all this time. I don't know, Tsukki. Call me optimistic, but I'd like to think it will work better this time around."

Tsukishima glared at him through his new wire-framed glasses. "Are you sure you're not just setting me up because you're sad for me since you're now dating Yachi-san?"

"I'm not gonna lie, Hitoka and I talk about you two often," he laughed. "She'd like you two to get together as well."

"I didn't know Yachi-san was a fujoshi."

"Don't be like that~"

But the thought remained, weaselled deep into his brain. Without knowing, Tsukishima found himself thinking of the shinkansen trip he took when he confessed to Kuroo. Of how Kuroo had met him at the station, kissed him in public. How his brain had short-circuited and how his heart hammered against his ribcage. 

For everyday since, Tsukishima asked himself: _What would it be like for them to be together again?_

Tsukishima didn't have to wait long for an answer.

On Valentine's Day, with a bag full of chocolate from women (and, surprisingly, a handful of men), Tsukishima finds himself stopping on his way out of the gates to Karasuno.

Because Kuroo was standing right outside, with the biggest heart-shaped box of chocolate he had ever seen, and the widest smile on his face. 

"What are you doing here?" He had asked, feeling his ears grow warmer with every passing second. He's sure that any student still staying in the upper floors could see them, and would definitely be watching as they talked to each other. 

Kuroo just laughed a little. "I'm here to give chocolate to the person I like." He shoved the box of chocolates in his arms. "So, Tsukki. A little birdie told me you're thinking about me."

"Yamaguchi," he grumbled through gritted teeth.

"And I'm here to tell you that I'm doing the same thing," Kuroo continued, totally serious now. "No, scratch that. I've been thinking about you ever since I came to Miyagi drunk, asking for your forgiveness. I can't stop thinking of you, Tsukki. And what happened during training camp just cemented it for me."

He took a deep breath to settle himself before saying, "I'm still in love with you."

Tsukishima had gulped audibly, trying to say something. He tried opening his mouth, but no words came out.

Kuroo smiled, and goddamn, it sent warmth flowing down his body. "You don't have to answer right now. But I'm here to make a statement. I'll be going after your heart, Tsukki. I know I broke it before. But I'm here now, and if you'll have me, I'll fix it. I'll woo you every day until you say yes, and I'll woo you some more every day after that. Think about it, yeah?"

And Tsukishima did think about it, deeply; thought about it after Kuroo hugged him tight and ran back to Sendai station to catch the soonest train home, thought about it while walking home in a daze, clutching the heart-shaped box close to his chest, thought about it even through their family dinner. All throughout, he valiantly tried and failed to stop his face from breaking out in a full grin.

But he really didn't have to think about it that much, or all that hard. Because he knew his answer, had it ready in his heart ever since they kissed on a bench after training under the light of the moon.

He answered him a month later on White Day, by changing the nicknames on their chatbox to hearts.

_**曖昧 に なって 形 に なって いく** _  
  
_It becomes ambiguous and takes its shape_

  
_**そう 僕ら 新しい お別れ の 日** _  
  
_Yes, this is our new departing day_

A message pops up on his notification bar, distracting his thoughts. It's a sticker of a dog wagging its tail while it checks the time on a clock mounted on the wall.

》 **Tetsurou** ❣: I have a surprise for you when you arrive 🥰  
》 **Kei** 💓: If you have a two meter banner with my name and face on it, I swear to God, I'm getting back on the shinkansen.  
》 **Tetsurou** ❣: Uh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺  
》 **Kei** 💓: 😠  
》 **Tetsurou** ❣: 😽💌

He has to stop himself from laughing out loud at that. 

Kuroo had kept his promise, wooing him, being romantic, and equally supportive. They were a little older now, a little more mature in thinking, a little more forgiving. Kuroo knows not to distract Tsukishima during practice matches, and Tsukishima knows to give Kuroo some space when exams week rolls around. He surprises Kuroo with thoughtful gifts of food delivered right to his doorstep when he knows he hasn't eaten from studying, and Kuroo would have someone deliver flowers to the Karasuno changing room addressed to Tsukishima before and after matches.

They barely fought now, too; gone were the shouting matches filled with fallacies of old. Their preferred method of conflict resolution was for the both of them to sit down and talk while the other listened. It was a much more effective way of dealing with stress and miscommunications. They made sure they tell each other "I love you" when they wished the other a good night, because they know that despite everything, they still felt the same burning fire in their hearts.

So with Bokuto finding a two-bedroom flat big enough for all four of them to share right in the heart of Tokyo, with Kuroo's apartment contract is set to expire, and with Tsukishima's move to the capital for studies and the pro leagues drew ever nearer, it just became clearer and clearer what they're suppose to do.

Bokuto had asked first, and then Akaashi, but it was Kuroo asking for them to move in together that prompted Tsukishima to say yes. 

When he told Akiteru about his plans for Tokyo, his brother was silent for a long while. He was scared that the moment for coming out was nigh, and he mentally prepared himself for the question.

"Kei," Akiteru had said, voice even, "Is there something you want to tell me? About this Kuroo fellow, specifically?"

Tsukishima closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, looking up at the sky. "He's my boyfriend," he finally admitted. It felt like a weight on his shoulders had been lifted as soon as he finished.

His brother nodded, smiled at him. "I knew. I've guessed there's been something between you two since the first time he stayed over at our place. He always looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing to ever exist. Not a good liar, that Kuroo."

He laughed at that. "No, he's not... So, you're not mad?"

"I'll only be mad if he breaks your heart again," Akiteru mumbled, ruffling his hair, to his chagrin. "Apart from that, I fully support you. Got it?"

He didn't want to admit that he became emotional after that. But the sudden hug he gave his brother and the shaking of his shoulders was telling enough.

《 _The Tohoku Shinkansen has arrived in Tokyo station. Passengers may alight when the doors open to your right. Thank you for your patronage to JR East._ 》

Tsukishima stands up and takes his headphones off, having it slung around his neck. He smiles a little wistfully as he exits the shinkansen; perhaps it'll be a while before he can go back to Miyagi again, but he knows his friends and family were only one call away.

"Tsukki~" 

He turns around and smiles a little as he sees Kuroo on the platforms, looking good as ever. He parts the crowd easily to go to him. Tsukishima finds himself exhaling little in relief when he sees that Kuroo's hands are empty, no embarrassing welcome banner in sight.

"Did you wait long?" He asks, because Kuroo looks like he's been here a while.

"Nope~ Got here five minutes early. Let me get those for you," Kuroo says, leaning down to take the heavier of Tsukishima's luggages in his hands. 

He starts leading him out of the station, expertly weaving through the groups of people going about their day. "Bokuto's still out practicing with Black Jackals, and Akaashi's at home cooking up a feast. I reckon it's about three more hours before we head out to properly celebrate your welcome, so you can relax or unpack in our room in the meantime. I know you like the window view farthest from the door, so you'll get that side of the bed --"

"Tetsurou."

The use of his first name stops him in his tracks, one leg up the stairs. "Yes?" He asks nervously.

Tsukishima just smiles at him and stands on the step to match his height. "Stop thinking about plans for a second and greet me properly."

Kuroo smiles, relaxes. "Sorry, babe." He leans in for a kiss and Tsukishima meets him halfway. "Welcome to Tokyo, Kei. I hope you enjoy staying here. With us. With me."

His chest feels light. Because no matter what the future brings, he's sure that it'll be bright with Kuroo beside him.

"Home sweet home," he replies against his lips, and Tsukishima entwines his fingers with Kuroo's free hand.

* * *

"Sunsets are the best," Tsukishima says, leaning on their table overlooking the skyline.

Kuroo smiles beside him, arm wrapped around his shoulders as they watched the sun drop over the horizon. The Sky Tree had the best view of the sprawling metropolis that was Tokyo. It was mesmerizing to see the sky go from orange to pink to purple, for the buildings and streets to come alive with little twinkling lights.

"Sunrises are way better," Akaashi counters from across them. He sends a smirk their way as both of them make affronted noises, just in time, as Bokuto bounds to them with their drinks on a tray. "Have you even _seen_ a sunrise?"

"Sunrises are boring and are over as soon as you know it," Tsukishima replies. "There's no satisfaction because the sun goes up and _stays_ up for the rest of the day."

"But sunrises signal a new day," Bokuto answers, readily inserting himself in the conversation. He knows how Tsukishima and Akaashi debate, and although Kuroo would much rather step back and listen to his boyfriend be smart all on his own, Bokuto likes to show Akaashi off and also stand by him. No side-kicks, only protagonists. "They make you feel all refreshed and ready to start your routine for the day!"

Akaashi then turns to Kuroo, who's leaning against Tsukishima heavily. "No thoughts on the matter for number 2 of Team Sunset?"

"Tsukki likes sunsets," he says simply, laughing. "I loved them before, and I love them even more now."

"But why did you love them before?"

"Do I have to have a reason why?" He asks, and he turns to face Tsukishima, who's casually adding four brown sugars into his latté. "I just do."

The whole table goes quiet as they watch Tsukishima stir his coffee and tentatively taste it. The burning sky makes his blond hair and pale skin glow. He finally realizes everyone's staring and asks, "What did I miss?"

"A lot," Bokuto jokes, breaking them out of their stupor. He holds up a tall glass of a monster chocolate cookie frappucino with lots of whipped cream and oreo crumbles -- his preferred drink for the day, since he's looking for a sugar high after training. "But it's fine."

"You're here now," Akaashi continues as he sips his cup of steaming black tea with a splash of honey. "And we're so glad to have you."

"See? We all missed you. But especially me," Kuroo pouts over his glass of iced cappucino.

Tsukishima just smiles. He finds that he does that a lot with these three around. "I'm excited for what's to come."

Kuroo coughs a little loudly, forcefully. "Bro, I think your phone's ringing."

"Huh?" Bokuto checks his phone in his pocket. "No it's not."

"I'm _pretty sure it is_ ," he hisses through gritted teeth, eyes widening marginally.

The other man frowns across him. "No, it's not! Kuroo, man, what the --"

"Koutarou," Akaashi interrupts, standing up from their table all of a sudden. He grabs Bokuto's hand from the table. "I simply cannot control myself. I want to have a plush animal from the shops, buy me one."

"Huh? Eh? Wait, Keiji?!" He yelps as Akaashi hauls the bigger man up and drag him away from their table with ease.

Tsukishima watches with mild amusement, sipping his sweet latté. And when Kuroo turns to him, he just cocks one eyebrow up. "Well, that wasn't suspicious at all."

"You're just too damn perceptive," Kuroo laughs. "Although I think Bokuto and Akaashi's acting skills aren't really the best of the best."

"That's rich of you to say, when your line delivery was subpar at best."

"So nitpicky," Kuroo grumbles in fake annoyance, then buries his forehead on the other's shoulder. 

Tsukishima laces his fingers with Kuroo's under the table, and both of them hum in content. The sunset was in its final moments, and he looks to the window to watch it disappear.

"You're beautiful," Kuroo blurts out suddenly, and Tsukishima turns around to see that he's been staring at him with the dopiest smile he's ever done. "Do you know that?"

"You tell me that every day, how could I forget?" He shoots back, scoffing a little, but the blush on his cheeks was a dead giveaway.

Kuroo straightens up, and he panicks that he's said something bad until he hears him chuckling. "Yeah, well, I just want to tell you I'll be doing that everyday from now on."

"How kind."

"Shush, don't ruin my moment," he chastises him. "This is my promise."

"A promise?" Tsukishima raises an eyebrow as Kuroo starts fidgeting, patting his body down. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to... did I... where is it... ah!" Kuroo lets out a little squeak as he finds whatever he's been looking for. Tsukishima squints, eyebrows knitted together in confusion, until he holds up what he's been holding.

It's a silver ring. The same ring that Tsukishima dropped in Nekoma, all those years ago, when they had broken up. 

He stares at it, feels his chest tighten when unwanted memories come flooding back. "Is that...?"

"Yeah," Kuroo says sheepishly. "Kenma saved it that day. I've been saving it ever since. For you."

Tsukishima gulps. "That has a lot of heavy memories associated with it."

"I know," he whispers. "But it's ours. And they're important ones, no matter how much we want to forget that it happened. And, well... I'd like to make new memories with you. To balance out the old."

Tsukishima picks up the ring from the palm of his hand, studying it. He could see it shine in the golden sunrays streaming in. It's been polished and cleaned properly, resized to fit his finger better. 

It's the same old ring, but adapted better to the now. He knows the weight of it, the importance attached to this, to what it's been through.

He sees Kuroo look at him and the ring expectantly, but he doesn't ask. 

He doesn't really need to.

Tsukishima slips it on his finger -- his ring finger -- and it fits, perfectly snug. He holds it up to the light to check if it looks good. "I wouldn't be opposed to having new moments to look forward to," he says off-handedly.

Kuroo gently holds his hand, brings his knuckles to his lips and kisses the ring. "I promise," he whispers. "I'll give you the best future."

Tsukishima shifts his hand, rubs his thumb against the back of Kuroo's. He smiles a little as he finds a similar band on his finger as well. The matching set. 

He initiates the kiss this time, soft and chaste and gentle. "Any future is good as long as it's with you."

Kuroo grins. "You've got yourself a deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me and this story! I hope you like it! Leave kudos and a comment if you did 🥺  
> \---
> 
> If you would like more "Mind the Gap" content, I've made an English social media/sns au fic of Tsukki and Kuroo playing 20 Questions leading up to chapter 1 of Mind the Gap! It's now finished so read it to your heart's content! And if you came here from 20 Questions (as some of my readers have), then thank you for going through my MtG AU <3
> 
> Link is on my twitter: https://twitter.com/imanidhstwt/status/1218179344113094656?s=19


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